4.6
August 20, 2018

I’ve Never Wanted to be That Woman, but This Time I Do.

*Warning: naughty language ahead!

~

I haven’t been excited over a man in a moment.

And I don’t mean the knee-jerk reaction kind of excitement.

The kind that happens when someone handsome walks in the door

Or pays you a compliment.

I’m talking the kind of excitement that sits in your bones quietly

But shakes you, nonetheless.

From your core, outward.

So with him you feel calm,

But without him you feel the slow burn

Of a deep fire.

So when my bones start to burn again

Over a man I can’t have,

I scream,

“Fuck”

Into the night.

Against my pillow.

Wishing it was his chest,

With the soft, dark hair

That I teased him for, but I’d never want him to shave.

And I scream,

“Fuck”

Again

When he texts me songs to listen to

And the lyrics say

He wants me

Even though his locked down mouth

Says differently.

Because we’re just friends,

As far as his partner is concerned.

And I’ve never wanted to be that woman

But this time I do.

Oh, what it is to understand a judged narrative.

Oh, what it is

To be on the other side of the script.

Oh, what it is

To scream,

“Fuck.”

~

 

author: Brooklynn Bosworth

Image: Author's own

Editor: Nicole Cameron

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Roxy Swepson Aug 24, 2018 8:06pm

Been there, done that BUT with the mindset of its just for this moment (and/or perhaps several, lol)... not wishing to have anything like that intrude in my life - afterall, if he did with me, what would keep him from doing TO me

Cristy Holden Aug 24, 2018 6:21pm

Many woman have this experience. And the experience teaches us, its not worth it. Save yourself.

Jennifer Evangelista Aug 21, 2018 1:02pm

Powerful and yet sad. Love your writing

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Brooklynn Bosworth

Brooklynn Bosworth is a yoga teacher, athlete, activist, and writer. She believes her experiences create a natural storyline for her writing and enjoys sharing poetry, prose, and short story based from authentic experience. Brooklynn is situated in the Hawaiian Islands and enjoys all that is encompassed in “island style.” She’s keen on big love, community, and creative expression in whatever form it demands to be birthed. Find out more on her website.