She held on tightly
To everything
Her life was carefully constructed
She would think
If I keep things exactly as they are
If I say all of the right words
Nothing will fall apart
Over time, she saw that holding on so tightly
Was hurting her soul
Was hurting her body
She felt it was no longer worth it
The false sense of safety
She gave herself
By controlling
Outcomes
She wasn’t meant to control
She would go through grief and discomfort
In accepting change
She’d learn to hold herself and say, “I know this hurts and I love you”
The thing about letting go, she realized, is that even when you’re against it, it’s for your best to ride the wave
That it’s a natural process
It took her awhile to trust
Feel that she was safe
“Just let go,” they’d say
As if such a thing happens on an exhale
That wasn’t her experience
For her, it was a bumpier ride
To releasing what no longer served her
But she’d get to the other side
With a newness that at first, seemed scary
She’d learn to embrace it all
The way the waves shook up her life at times
The way the changes that came often didn’t make sense in the moment
The arrival into something new
In the end, thankfully
Photo credit: Photo by John Canelis on Unsplash
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