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December 13, 2018

Self-care is Not Selfish: What Have You Done for YOU Lately? 

Self-Care Series Part 1:  

“Self-care” is a trendy hot topic.  Intentionally devoting time to your own well-being is touted as the key to happiness, but what happens when you’re so far away from true contentment you don’t even know how to begin getting back to you?  How do you establish a new self-love routine when everyday life itself feels so overwhelming?

First take the TIME to figure out what it is you even want.

When was the last time you did a self-evaluation of what truly brings you joy in life?  Do you know what makes you happy, right now, at this point in time?  You are not the same person you were a year ago or before kids or after the grief of losing a loved one or divorce.  Maybe it’s time to reevaluate what it even is that would make the ‘New You’, the ever evolving amazing human you are, truly happy.

It’s easy to rattle off the obvious.  “I love my kids.  I love my job.”

I challenge you to blow past the obvious answers and dig a little deeper.

Sometimes it helps to think back to something you used to enjoy doing as a child or teenager or in your 20’s.  Something you’ve left behind as an adult because… well life.  Life happens. Oh, does it happen.

We don’t have the luxury of living in Neverland.  As we’ve grown up, adult experiences invade the wonderment of childhood where anything felt possible.  Suddenly personal achievement, dreams, and desires feel super far away and utterly unobtainable.

Our generation of women has been raised to believe we can have it all….  And often we do.  We take care of everyone except ourselves. We’ve got the Insta-perfect family, the career, the house, the car, the dog, the clothes, but at what cost?

‘Having it all’ comes with a price and most often the price is YOURSELF.

Do you ever feel the seed of discontent growing inside?  The spawn of unease that gnaws and nags, but you consistently deny, defer, or stuff down the discomfort with a never ending to-do list?

We shove unpleasant emotions into to a dark corner inside using busy-ness, beer, wine, work, pills, exercise, online shopping, sex, cigarettes or even our own kids to cover the real reason we are hiding behind all that other stuff.  Ourselves.  We focus on so many outside distractions and influences.  We worry over other people’s problems, which we feel obligated to solve, so we can avoid our beautiful, messy overgrown garden inside that needs tending to.

You know that the unsatisfactory feeling of ‘not enough’?  Not enough time, money, weight lost, goals met, books read, places traveled, connections made with loved ones?

Ever feel like there’s not enough you to go around, like everyone and everything is demanding your attention, time, and expertise.  Do you give so often and steadily you’re left with nothing else to give at the end of the day, yet still manage to get up and do it again the next day? And the one after that and again the one after that until weeks, months, years have passed without really giving a proper examination as to what it is you truly want and desire out of life.

Many adults have surrendered to the daily grind, just going through the motions of life, doing what needs to be done without intentionally living a life that brings peace let alone happiness.  Have you asked yourself lately what you are doing with your life that positively impacts the world in a way that brings you internal satisfaction and passes on the gifts and unique experiences you were bestowed with?

When did we become OK with just surviving?

Setting a Self-Care routine can be the quickest way to truly getting what you want out of life and really start living with intention again.

In Part 2 of this Self-Care Series you will learn three tips to becoming a better caretaker of yourself.

Self-Care is not selfish.

It’s actually the purest form of self-love we can practice.

So, what will you do for yourself today?

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Leah Bomar  |  Contribution: 730