Recently I attended a great workshop about integrating the wounded masculine and feminine run by Krystal Alexander Hille. It inspired me to write a follow up to my previous article Oompa Loompas and He-Men to take a closer look at these archetypes and see if we can work towards the embodiment of our true nature.
When looking at the wounded masculine and feminine, it is important to keep in mind that both energies exists within all of us – we are all comprised of both masculine and feminine elements regardless of our biological gender. So without further ado let’s start with the wounded masculine. The wounded masculine energy is insensitive, shaming, controlling and immature. He is competitive, sexually aggressive and promiscuous.
The wounded masculine has a distinct air of righteousness. He constructs emotional walls and withdraws when feeling threatened or challenged. He is stoic, uncommunicative, overpowering, physically aggressive and avoidant. He feels a deep inner sense of insecurity and unworthiness. The wounded masculine is emotionally vacant and refrains from expressing vulnerability.
Self-improvement is masturbation. Now self-destruction is the answer
–Tyler Durden, Fight Club
The wounded feminine energy is jealous and withholding. She plays the martyr and is overly emotional. She is manipulative, nagging and passive aggressive. She is dissatisfied and blaming. She is erratic and often feels powerless. She is indecisive, panicky, joyless and smothering. She is indirect and feels under appreciated by those around her. The wounded feminine suffers from a deep sense of not being seen and of feeling discarded.
You’re the worst thing that ever happened to me
-Marla Singer, Fight Club
Now before you go thinking that there is no hope and it’s all doom and gloom, let’s look at the other side of the coin – the divine masculine and feminine.
The divine masculine energy is strong but sensitive. He is protective of those he loves, a good provider and organizer. He is grounded and practical. He is emotionally intelligent and assertive. He is decisive, direct and a natural thinker. He is a giver and holds space for those in need. He is intelligent and a strong defender. He is energised and explorative. The divine masculine is the embodiment of the true warrior archetype.
The divine feminine energy is nurturing and assertive. She is joyful, strong, wise and emotionally intelligent. She is playful, maternal, grounded, creative and expansive. She is flowing, accepting and receptive. She expresses unconditional love while standing in her own power and giving to those in need. She is graceful and powerful. The divine feminine is the embodiment of the true sovereign queen archetype.
Sounds pretty good doesn’t it? Like a beautiful utopian universe filled with nothing but sunshine, rainbows and lollypops. Now you may be thinking, ‘how the hell can we ever become that?” I totally get it, it’s a big ask. There have been many times I have felt really disheartened and hopeless about things ever changing on my own awakening journey. But it’s not all lost. Obtaining the true embodiment of our divine masculine and feminine nature can be a difficult and daunting task but it’s certainly not impossible.
We can start by taking a good look in the mirror and examining our own behaviours and reactions. What makes you feel triggered? How do you respond to certain triggers? Did you react from your wounded masculine or feminine? What is the core fear or wound behind this trigger? Is it the fear of not feeling good enough? Of not belonging? Or perhaps it is related to the fear of not being loved? We all have had one or more of these three main fears at some point in our lives.
Breaking through our limited conditioning is no minor feat. It takes discipline, hard work and the willingness to face our biggest fears. But if we can start by working on ourselves, it will have a colossal impact not just on the happiness of the individual, but the continued awakening of the entire planet.