I have suffered with anxiety as long as I can remember.
That feeling of dread mixed with utter terror. A change in temperature, the weather, a commitment that should be the tiniest part of my week becomes all consuming.
While driving the other day, I was looking at the hills in the distance. I thought about how mountainous anxiety can feel, how it seems a never ending climb only to slip back so often, defeated. And then I thought—climb a hill instead. You’re still climbing, but it’s not so steep, you can choose to take a rest and take in the view instead of constantly looking up at how much further you have to go.
Then this happened. This little poem, seemingly inconsequential at the time, has become my mantra. Read it, feel it and give yourself permission.
The Mountain isn’t going anywhere, you can climb it when you are ready:
If the mountain seems too big today
then climb a hill instead
if the morning brings you sadness
it’s ok to stay in bed
if the day ahead weighs heavy
and your plans feel like a curse
there’s no shame in rearranging
don’t make yourself feel worse
if a shower stings like needles
and a bath feels like you’ll drown
if you haven’t washed your hair for days
don’t throw away your crown
a day is not a lifetime
a rest is not defeat
don’t think of it as failure
just a quiet, kind retreat
it’s ok to take a moment
from an anxious, fractured mind
the world will not stop turning
while you get realigned
the mountain will still be there
when you want to try again
you can climb it in your own time
just love yourself til then.
– Laura Ding-Edwards –
link – facebook.com/rainbirdroots