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Editor’s Note: This website is not designed to, and should not be construed to, provide medical advice, professional diagnosis, opinion, or treatment to you or any other individual, and is not intended as a substitute for medical or professional care and treatment. This is just one take on sexuality. Enjoy it—or not. Sex should be fun, and mutual, and extra-ordinary—not taboo. In that spirit, may this be of some benefit. ~ ed.
There you are, a caveman.
You’re wandering the savanna looking for some cave woman love.
20 meters away you see a gorgeous cave lady, and you get turned on.
But all of a sudden, out of the corner of your eye, you see a lion. It’s peering over the grass at you, and it is not blinking. Slowly his shoulder blade moves up and he takes one step forward into the starter running position. He is eyeing you up for his next meal.
In this very moment, the cave lady takes off her leaf, showing you her flower, and says “ugh ugh uhhh” (Roughly translated as, “how you doin’?” but in cave speak.)
You’re about to get attacked by a lion. Do you honestly think you’ll be able to get an erection, have sex, and still be safe?
Our bodies react to stress by pumping it full of cortisol and adrenaline to handle the danger that’s in front of you. And your body is going to pump blood to every other part of your body to handle the threat.
Breeding and procreation is the last thing on your body’s mind when it’s stressed out.
In the modern world, however, that stress doesn’t come from the threat of a lion. It’s more insidious than that, and sometimes harder to detect.
Instead, it’s finances, it’s relationship troubles, it’s health, it’s your career, it’s anxiety—either from the situation you’re in, or life circumstances in general. Stress shows up in many different and more complex ways now, than it ever did before.
If you’re stressed, your penis isn’t going to work.
You won’t be able to get hard, because your body is full of adrenaline, and cortisol, trying to cope with threats that you haven’t dealt with yet.
Many men assume that if their penis isn’t working, then they are a failure as a man.
There’s shame, guilt and anger that comes up. And those emotions add to the stress, which makes it even harder to get erect.
If you’re a man, and you’re struggling with erectile dysfunction, know this: You are not broken.
Use your penis as a barometer of your emotional health. Yes, there are physical health issues too, but more often than not, erection challenges are emotional and psychological. This is especially true for men under the age of 40.
If you want your little (or big! No assumptions here) soldier to start standing at attention again, then you need to take a serious look at your emotional and mental health.
Take stock of your life and your relationships. Evaluate your finances, your career, your family, or even sexual performance anxiety. If you’re struggling with any of these things, they are your lion. The flaccid member is simply the symptom.
Taking a pill is fine, and should not be a source of shame. Especially if you’re using it so you can be intimate with your partner (and sex reduces stress—so, have at it!). That being said, unless there’s a physical reason, medically verifiable, a pill should only be a Band-Aid.
Whether taking a pill or not, I will say this again:
You are not broken.
You are not less of a man.
You are in the middle of a fight with a lion that you may not be able to see.
However long that fight lasts, don’t spend your time feeling bad about yourself or feeling down. And don’t rely solely on pills.
Instead, focus on that lion, get all the tools you need, and spear it in the throat.
Your erection will come back when it knows it won’t get clawed off by a hungry predator.