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March 18, 2019

Finding Comfort in The Uncomfortable

Today is National Awkward Moments Day. As an Introvert, I am no stranger to awkward moments. Though I know others have experienced them, I personally spend a lot of time pressing my minds replay button to analyze and look for an alternate ending that would change the experience. I can’t even say I am looking for a happy ending, I am more than willing to set my sights on a neutral outcome.

Introverts, by nature, tend to draw inward and critique their part in any situation. There is nothing wrong with doing a postmortem on the experience if there is some insight to be had, but there are times when we get stuck in the mud, and we can’t seem to get out. We don’t distinguish between a babbling brook and a tsunami; all experiences can be perceived as a terra threat.  We don’t switch different sized filters depending on the situation. As a result, we push all experiences through an extremely fine screen, and we wonder why we get caught up in the thicket of life.

But I started asking myself, what would happen if I took off the filter and call the experience for what it is, a passing awkward moment not a riptide? Could I create a visual prompt that could calm me when I felt uncomfortable? What would happen if I merely said out loud, “Wow, that was awkward!” How would my reality change? Below is what I have created for myself. Next time I feel uncomfortable, I will pull this image up and let the moment pass.

It is a warm sunny Summer day with a sky that is a solid royal blue. While walking in the woods, I have stumbled upon a stream, and I take the opportunity to sit down alongside it. I can feel a slight breeze rustling the green canopy that shades me. I can hear birds singing off in the distance and bugs buzzing.

The stone I am sitting on is flat and smooth. I take off my shoes and dangle my feet and legs in the water. I can feel the movement of the current as it passes by my bare skin and it gives me goosebumps. As I look down, through the clear water, I see something shiny. I occupy my time sifting the sandy bottom trying to capture little bits of ‘something’ that I can’t quite catch in my panning dish.

A sudden wave of emotion washes over me, and I abruptly stop. I close my eyes, and I let the contents of the pan fall out and settle back on the stream’s floor. I am perfectly still, taking a deep breath, and focusing on the movement of the water. Instead of analyzing, I am going to wait and let the moment pass.

Photo by Karim Sakhibgareev on Unsplash.com

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