Being a small woman in a masculine culture is a strange existence.

When men look at me, I see such a confusion in their eyes

As if they do not know whether to see me as a child, a woman, an object,

Or nothing at all.

It is said that women develop and mature before men do

A poor excuse used by many to justify the abhorrent

Actions of men young and old

What we are not told is that

the second you leave the womb

You are no longer in the safety of the of female body.

Your body is not your own anymore.

You catch the eye of those who want to leverage on vulnerability

Because what is more innocent and lovely than

The eyes of a woman is who is trying to understand the world?

At age 11 I was followed into the bathroom of a mall by a man.

The words “You hear me little girl? I’m following you”

Do not compare to the feeling of tightening in the chest

Stomach dropping and head spinning in confusion

This feeling that occurs all too often in womanhood

Feels like a punishment that will never go away.

Instincts are not to be trusted

In a world where a woman’s instincts do not matter.

We are stolen from an adolescence free of fear

Where we can cry, yell, and be dirty

And thrown into a womanhood where our choices are few

Our voices are silenced

Our abilities taken for granted

Our bodies objectified and abused

And our thoughts considered nothing more than a collection of fables.

Being small makes you see from the bottom

Where you started and where you will finish

The world of man forever looking down on you

So much that they never expect it

When you stand tall in the face of adversity

And show them that starting small and trusting your instincts

Is how we survive the tightening of the chest,

The stomach dropping and the head spinning enough to say

I do not fear you because you are bigger than me

I do not feel small because it is not a measure of power

I am not a little girl, I am a woman who will not

Have my soul be shaken by the weak hands of masculinity.