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April 2, 2019

The Lioness Heart of a Single Mother.

 

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It’s been roughly five years since I moved out of my wedded house.

The journey since then has been quite a roller-coaster.

I still remember the day I walked out with Kabir, my little five-year-old son, and limited supplies into an almost empty house to begin again.

Little did I know that the world outside wedlock was so different.

I didn’t really trust the ground I stood upon. It was (and still is) difficult—and difficult is an understatement.

A lot of you may see my life as a #jubilee, but believe me, it’s an uphill slope. And no, that is not a complaint. I think it’s the best thing to have ever happened to me.

I learned to stand alone and not in the shadows. Everything I own today is mine. The work I do today, the decisions I make, and the failures I’ve had are all mine. And most importantly, a life full of dreams belongs to me and to Kabir, together. Though these dreams may be little (and mostly revolve around “Star Wars”), we are happy!

Sometimes, good things come disguised as disasters. My struggles as a single mother haven’t ended.

The past five years have shown me the pain and deeper meaning of being completely broken, but at the same time, they’ve shown me the courage I possess. When I feel exhausted and just done with it all, my family—Kabir and I together—becomes the shelter from the rain. When we emerge, we take just one little step at a time, and that’s how we keep moving forward.

The reason I share this with you today is because we all go through things that cause us immense pain. Things that lead us to unwanted changes. Things that make us fragile on the inside and steel on the outside. Don’t lose hope. We may not be able to see in the dark, but in our hearts, we know that light exists and aid in some form is on its way.

Feed faith to yourself and don’t let your visions of a beautiful future die. Don’t worry about what people will say. Delight in your own existence and be thankful for the troubles you are going through. Not many are so privileged.

I could continue to write about everything we’ve been through during these years. Kabir is a big boy now, and I am a big girl too. My experiences these past years have turned me into a lioness, and I have fear of nothing now. I will find my way to where I am destined to be, with love, kindness, and grace.

I am a proud single mom, and I am proud to raise my son alone. This is a call out to all single lioness mothers: don’t lose heart when things get tough. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

 

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Vani Kabir

author: Vani Kabir

Image: Author's Own

Image: @ElephantJournal

Editor: Catherine Monkman

Relephant:

Bonus:

Loneliness, Love, & Making Friends with Hot Boredom. ~ Waylon Lewis

An Offering to Mothers with Waylon Lewis.

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