How Your Inner Voice Can Make or Break You
We all have that inner voice that tells us what to think about ourselves. I call mine the monster!
Most people are burdened with an ugly monster telling them they are stupid, fat, too short, too tall, have big feet, have a gross face, or much worse. Mine tells me I can’t do anything well and I will never succeed.
This nasty monster controls every aspect of our lives. It decides if we are going out on that romantic date, or if we had a good or bad experience at work today.
Your inner voice controls every thought that crosses your mind and whether it will be a good one or a bad one.
Not only do your thoughts control your emotions, but they also control your path in life.
Have you ever worked yourself up over a fight with a friend or talked yourself out of asking someone on a date? That’s your internal dialogue telling you what to do next.
It Works Both Ways
There is a silver lining in this realization that your monster controls your life. If you turn your inner monster into a big fluffy teddy bear dressed as a cheerleader, you can do pretty much anything you want to.
This is why they say “You can do anything you set your mind to.” They’re talking about your big fluffy teddy bear cheerleader winning the fight against your monster.
If your monster is already a growling angry beast, this can take some time to turn it into a cuddly teddy bear. The rewards of manipulating your internal dialogue will never end.
I’ve used all of the techniques in this article myself and have completely changed the way I think.
Are You Even Aware of Him?
The hardest part of this process is awareness. Most of us go through life listening to our monster without even realizing what it is, or that it’s even there. You convince yourself you are terrible or ugly, and that’s that. It becomes a fact. It sets rules for you like who you can date, or how smart you are.
What if, instead, you treated your inner voice like a friend that you are having a conversation with?
This one conscious action can change your entire outlook. You would never keep a friend that treated you so badly and said such horrible things about you, would you?
In reality, if you had a friend like that, you would stop spending time with her. You would likely ghost her and consider it a lesson learned. Well, I don’t have to tell you that you can’t do that with your own brain.
Keep the Conversation Going
Since you can’t rid your body of your brain, you’re going to have to try something more creative.
Try talking to your monster.
Ask her what’s wrong and why she feels this way.
Ask her to be more kind and to cheer you on when you are getting ready to try something uncomfortable.
When you start to feel the chaotic storm raging in your mind and start feeling terrible self-doubt, try to have a conversation with your inner self. Ask yourself if the way you are feeling is rooted in fact or if it’s just you perceive it to be that bad.
The situation you are working yourself up over is probably not nearly as bad as you think it is. It could be your perception instead of reality.
Weigh the facts and see if you can separate reality from what is running through your mind.
Stop Caring What Others Think
Your inner dialogue can be persuaded by what you think others are thinking or saying about you.
The biggest obstacle to this entire process is deciding that you don’t care what others think about you or your actions. As long as you aren’t hurting anyone, you should stop caring about the opinions of others.
They don’t have to live with the consequences of your life decisions, you do!
Ask yourself these questions:
- If they think negatively about me, will it change anything?
- What is the worst possible scenario and how likely is it to actually happen?
- If the worst possible scenario happens, will I be able to recover quickly from it?
- How does the opinion of others affect my decisions in this situation?
Deciding to stop caring what people think can be a life-changing exercise. It can be a total game changer for you, your ambitions, your mental health, and your friendships.
When you stop worrying about what others think about what you’re doing, you receive the gift of allowing yourself to be truly authentic. It’s so liberating!
Your Mental Health is Crucial to Your Overall Health
Sometimes this constant worrying and the cycling through of negative thoughts in your mind can be a symptom of a chemical imbalance in your brain or something that may require medical attention.
If you’ve tried these changes to your inner dialogue with commitment and aren’t seeing any results, you may want to seek a counselor or a medical professional that can help you determine if your mental health needs some more in-depth attention.
There is no shame in seeking help for mental health issues. If you had a cut, you would go see a doctor, so why wouldn’t you see a doctor if your mind is working against you?
Tame your Inner Beast and Move on
The longer you let your monster control your life, the longer you are delaying having the life you want. Things aren’t always going to turn out the way you want them to, but you have some say in your future.
If you are constantly beating yourself up over every action or inaction, you will never do anything meaningful in your life. You don’t want to be that 92 year old on their death bed with tons of regrets, do you?
If nothing else, practice being aware of what your inner beast is saying to you so you can decide if he needs an attitude adjustment or not.