2.1
May 7, 2019

A Poem for the Days you Don’t Get it Right.

 

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One of the most difficult aspects of becoming a single mother to my four-year-old son, since he turned two, and the thing I most often feel like I’m failing at, is holding enough space for the both of us.

I believe our children come into our lives to play an important role in our personal expansion, and they are the first to show you just how enlightened you aren’t. The challenging part has been not only processing my divorce, but also having him regularly mirroring out a lot of my pain and trauma.

It can feel really disheartening sometimes—that the that the person who I most want to show up for and give the best versions of me to, is the one who is showing me where all my growth work is.

Despite the mess, the tantrums, and the tears, we’re finding our way together, looking out for each other, and learning a lot about what it truly means to love without condition.

~

Some nights you crawl back in 

For those secret cuddles 

When they’re fast asleep 

And you say your sorries 

For all the ways 

You’re not measuring up 

And all the ways 

You know you’ve messed up 

And you drink in that baby smell 

And you pray they will always keep that baby smell 

Then you walk out into the living room 

And pick up the pieces to another day 

Of being alone as a single mother.

~

Image: Jenna Brockmuller

Image: Jordan Whitt/Unsplash

Image: @elephantjournal/instagram

Editor: Naomi Boshari

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Amy St.Germain May 9, 2019 5:23am

You are not alone. ?

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Jenna Brockmuller

Jenna is a poet and a dreamer following her soul cravings and finding her place in the universe. You can connect with her on Instagram.