You don’t understand.

If I don’t go mad

once in a while

I start to shrink.

I start to die.

If I don’t go out of

my yesterday’s cage,

where all pieces of my old identity

are stored,

i die slowly,

silently at first

and then loudly.

I just cease to exist.

And you know

the greatest irony  of all?

I have been the only

and the greatest barrier of all times,

to let go

and let myself loose

to wear a different mask

or no masks at all

and be a different persona.

You know a bitter truth?

I am bored and tired

of my old identity

and it’s clothes.

I need to go mad

once in a while

and I have been holding myself back

for all this time

in a pull and push endless move

towards the abyss…

I want to die a little crazy…

normal never fitted me

and I tried to educate myself to be normal

here and there…

but you can be the whole you

everywhere

or no one at all

at all places.

Let me go mad this time.

I want to break free from my own chains…

…and taste the other side…

…there where my true essence

is waiting to come Undone…

I am really tired of the old me

and these old thoughts and beliefs…

I want to go mad for a while

to create myself anew

each day…

Or else

I’ll die…!