July 17, 2019

Why we’re looking at this Twin Flame thing All Wrong.


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It has dawned on me over the past few weeks that there is a lot of confusion in the twin flame community around what this journey is really about.

I’ve recently come to the point in my own journey where I can finally see the forest through the trees much more clearly than ever before. Now I can see why all the crazy twists and turns had to happen, and what we’re all really working toward.

Unfortunately, it seems that people tend to complicate this journey by getting too bogged down in the 3D, physical world dynamics with their twin—the running, the chasing, the ghosting, the frustration, the anger, the hopelessness, and the longing for physical reunion with their counterpart.

Of course, this messy human stuff is all part of the journey, and I’ve certainly been there many times myself, so I’m not judging anyone. The purpose of this article is for me to do my part in assisting others on this journey who may be feeling all kinds of pissed off at the universe for showing them their perfect partner, only to see their dream crumbling to sh*t in a messy nightmare of betrayal, deceit, and seemingly endless abandonment triggers.

You only have to log onto a lot of twin flame Facebook pages to see that the majority of the collective are heavily caught up the physical dynamics of their connection—what their twin is or isn’t doing, the pain and helplessness they feel around separation, and when their twin will finally come back to them so they can have the happy, romantic outcome they prize above anything else.

Again, I’m not passing any judgement here as I’ve been there myself, but it is important to face the reality here. If you don’t, or you flat-out refuse to, you could end up going around and around in a messed up, dysfunctional dynamic with your twin for years and years until you turn around and finally release the false belief that this is just about the romantic outcome. The happy ever after is merely the cherry on top that only becomes possible once the internal work is more or less complete.

I’m certainly not saying anything new by writing this article. There are many twin flame coaches, teachers, tarot readers, and bloggers who have commented on this very subject. I feel that it is important for as many people on the twin flame path as possible to share the truth about the journey so it can really be heard. One of my favourite twin flame teachers, Sabriye Ayana, sums it up perfectly:

“The destination of this journey is really not about ending up in a romantic love relationship with the divine counterpart, which most twin flames cling to as if their lives depend on it—but that is the very reason they don’t align to it as a physical manifestation, because they want it too much and for all the wrong reasons. Often shooting down anyone that threatens their view of the fairy-tale ending they deeply desire.”

Now, having said what the twin flame journey isn’t about, let’s take a look at what it is about. Keep in mind that this is my perspective derived from my own experience, research, twin flame teachers I’ve worked with, and the guidance I’ve received directly from spirit. That’s another thing about this journey—it’s often full of apparent contradictions which, in reality, is actually how spiritual truth functions.

There are often two realities running concurrently, and both are just as valid as each other. So, while I talk about the “truth” of the journey, it is not dogma, and nobody has to agree, as we all have free will and we can choose to believe or not to believe in whatever we feel is serving us at that point in time. That isn’t to say that there aren’t consequences for whatever action or path you choose to take if it’s not in alignment with what your soul knows to be for your highest good.

One of the biggest areas of confusion that a lot of people struggle with on this journey is thinking that it is the same for both the masculine and the feminine counterparts. As we know, a biological female can embody the masculine energy and vice versa, and this doesn’t have any bearing on the end result because it’s all about the energy.

The biggest challenge for the feminine energy twin in this lifetime is to learn how to stand in her own power and become fully self-sufficient and independent in the material world. This means shedding, healing, and releasing past wounds from childhood and relationships/situations built on codependency. It doesn’t mean that “she” shouldn’t want companionship and intimacy, but it does mean that she needs to release the unhealthy attachment she has to it.

By contrast, the masculine energy twin needs to learn how to let love in. After centuries of wounding, conditioning, and fears around being vulnerable, expressing feelings, and showing genuine love and compassion, “he” needs to heal and release all of this so that he can let love in and finally be free to be himself without fear of rejection, judgement, or recrimination.

As a race, human beings have gotten ourselves into such a mess with paradigms based on patriarchal power and control. They are so detrimental to our true nature which, at its core, is based on unconditional love, kindness, and altruism. We are blindly repeating the same dysfunctional patterns in our relationships with partners, friends, and family, and, on a systemic scale, through governments and institutions.

It’s an emergency on a global scale which is predicated on distorted templates in which the feminine energy is associated with victimhood/powerlessness/resentment, and the masculine energy is associated with persecution/control/anger. You only have to hear about the countless stories of domestic abuse from all around the world to see this dynamic in action.

Twin flames are here to release this old template and, in doing so, turn it into love. Every time someone works through this pattern, releases the associated pain from past experiences, and chooses a more loving path to move forward, it heals this negative karma for their whole family line, for others around them, and for their offspring, if children are part of their path.

I have been releasing strong conditioning around powerlessness and oppression at the hands of toxic masculine energy, which has also shown up in my twin flame dynamic, and in past relationships where I felt at the mercy of distorted masculine behaviour. This often took the form of control, betrayal, and deception.

I have recently been working through these kinds of themes in my own life which have shown up in my past relationships, my professional life, and yes, you guessed it, in my twin flame dynamic. A lot of my behaviour had to do with over-giving in my intimate relationships and in my work as a counsellor and social worker. I would give and give until I was so depleted and exhausted that I could barely stand. This would then feed into feelings of resentment and anger when my efforts were not reciprocated.

I am doing this with full awareness of the greater purpose. By choosing to put myself and my own needs first, whilst allowing myself to release the pain stored up in my emotional pain body, I am literally healing these old, damaging templates for my family, for the people around me, and for my future children, if they are part of my journey on this big, old round ball. The buck stops with me.

Unfortunately, I think that the twin flame industry has done us all a massive disservice by focussing so heavily on the romantic outcome part of the journey. You only have to Google anything related to twin flames to be inundated with articles, guided meditations, and tarot card readings with headings such as “divine masculine planning to profess his love to his divine feminine.”

There is nothing wrong with wanting commitment, marriage, and babies with your beloved but when it’s all you strive for, and it prevents you from moving forward and living your own life, you might as well be plugged right back into the matrix—the 3D world of codependent relationships based purely on ego and control. Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t those the very paradigms that we are working so hard to overcome?

Despite all of the pain I’ve encountered on this journey—the heartbreak, the incredible ups, and the devastating lows—I am extremely grateful to be on this path. It is because of all of this that I know what my mission and life purpose is in this lifetime. Whenever you are feeling low, depressed, hopeless, or angry, remember that you are here to serve humanity, to bring the New Earth down to this physical plane in order to guide and teach others the true meaning of unconditional love and what it truly means to be human.

So, instead of asking, “When will my twin return?” Ask yourself, “Where am I vibing at?” As it is only by raising our vibration that we can fulfill our mission as twin flames and help to usher in the New Earth for the benefit of humankind.


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