It’s come to my attention that there is a fair bit of confusion in the twin flame community around what it actually means to detach from your divine counterpart. If you’ve been on the twin flame path for a while and you have sought explanations for the plethora of mystical experiences you’ve encountered, then it’s highly likely that you have done some research and sought the assistance of a twin flame teacher, coach, or tarot reader/s to help guide you.
This is a journey that you can only truly understand if you are on it or have been through it yourself. It’s also highly likely that you have come across the very strong message in the twin flame community that you must detach from your counterpart in order to fully ascend, come into your true soul self and attract spiritual and physical union with your twin. This is stated over and over as one of the ultimate challenges and goals of the twin flame journey, which is perhaps why it is one of the hardest darn things to achieve.
I have struggled over and over again on my own twin flame path to fully surrender and let go of any kind of unhealthy attachment to my twin and to the connection. There were many times on my own journey where I felt that it must be some impossible cosmic joke- the connection I felt to my twin was so strong that it was driving me crazy. He was constantly on my mind, he would appear in my dreams and I could feel his presence so strongly on an energetic level that sometimes I felt like he was right there with me in the physical. The love I felt for him was so strong and beyond anything, I had ever experienced with another person before.
Along with the strong magnetic, I could feel and sense my twin’s thoughts, feelings, and emotions as well as my own. I was also seeing, feeling, and experiencing a myriad of signs and synchronicities especially whilst in periods of separation such as repeated number patters (111, 222, 333, and 555 being the most frequent), and things that reminded me of him like the car he drove or other men that looked like him.
With all of that going on I wondered how it was even possible to detach from him like I was supposed to. How the hell was I going to become neutral about someone who was always there, always in my thoughts, my heart, my mind, and the main reason that I was working so hard to overcome my fears, wounds, illusions to become the best version of myself that I could possibly be?
It certainly didn’t help that everyone in my physical reality were not on the twin flame path and could only see what was happening on the surface- that I appeared to be obsessed with someone who was emotionally and physically unavailable to me, and not only that, someone who and was actively ghosting, ignoring and blocking me. Not only was I having all these intense feelings and experiences that were making me question my sanity, this feeling of “going crazy” was being reinforced by those around me who thought that I was in an emotionally abusive relationship and had serious attachment and mental health issues.
I’m certainly not having a go at anyone who thought these things about my situation. In truth, I would have had the same thoughts if I were in their position. I mean, this whole twin flame thing is not a ‘normal’ experience in our society which is why a lot of twins try to conceal the fact that they are on this journey and hide it like some dirty little secret. I was certainly no exception to this, and it’s only over the last six months that I have really started to come out of the closet about my twin flame status.
I have now gotten to a point of my journey where overall I have been able to detach from my twin in ways that I previously felt impossible. I still have the odd day where I feel that strong obsessive magnetic pull and it becomes so damn distracting that it’s challenging to focus on myself… However, the thing I have come to realize is that once you have healed and released your biggest core wounds triggered by your twin (which for most twins are around abandonment and rejection), you will start to experience these obsessive days less and less.
The reason for this is this is that the strong pull you feel towards your twin is often not really about them at all. It’s actually you being pulled by the universe into your own wounding. As you and your twin share the same soul, it is actually luring you into your own shadow side and wounded inner child so you can become aware of your blind spots and heal the underlying wounds creating them. So it stands to reason that once you have healed a lot of your core rejection and abandonment wounds, those obsessive hours, days, weeks, or months where you can’t stop thinking about your twin become less and less.
The other reason that you might experience the obsessive pull or strong overpowering feelings towards your twin after you worked through your own core wounds is that you are actually picking up on your twin’s feelings more than your own. From my own experience, I can safely say that I am now in a position where I have more or less worked through those core abandonment and rejection wounds. Therefore when I do suddenly feel a very strong emotion like sadness out of the blue when things are going relatively well in my own life, I can assume that it is my twin’s feelings, and therefore detach from them to become the observer rather than attaching to them as if they were my own.
I believe that it is really important to be able to discern between your own feelings and your twin’s feelings on this journey, and this can also help to detach from any codependency you may be experiencing as well. Once you are at the stage of the journey where you are able to recognize that you have worked through your own core wounds, the ‘obsessive’ days where you feel bound to your twin become less and less, and you become able to identify your own feelings from those of your twin, then you are absolutely nailing this journey and should expect all the good things to start to blossom and grow in your physical reality in divine timing.