Let me just say to start that I am one of the very lucky few women…

My diagnosis of ovarian cancer came early – Stage 1C. Very early, in fact. Still, not early enough to avoid chemo.

This is my story with ovarian cancer and I share it in hopes of helping someone that experiences similar emotions, though not necessarily the same diagnosis or situation.

Could it be the chili talking?

It was an early November morning in 2014 when my husband, Jimmy, our adorable Westie, Maggie and I woke up to a big snowstorm. “Yuck! It’s going to be a hard drive to work this morning,” I thought to myself as I headed to the shower. 

I´d just stepped out onto the mat and started drying off when I doubled over with a tremendous pain in my lower right abdomen.  My first thought was: what a day to have an appendicitis attack! The pain was excruciating and we decided I needed to go to the ER, so within minutes, we were headed in that direction.

By that time, the pain had begun to ease up a bit and we joked that maybe it was  really just Jimmy’s chili from the night before giving me gas pains. 

Thankfully, though, we kept going only to find out that I had, what they thought was a fibroid tumor on my right ovary.

Yes, doctor ́s are human. But still…

At the hospital, they gave me an ultrasound report – both written and on a disc – and told me to follow-up with my gynecologist immediately. 

After a lot of pestering on my part, I finally got an appointment with my doctor’s office for the next day. When the doctor came in, she told she hadn ́t been able to read the disk, because they didn’t have the software to access it. Then, in a condescendingly and impatient tone, she said: “Nancy, Fibroids rarely turn into cancer – but if it makes you feel any better we can schedule a follow-up ultrasound in a couple of months.”

You ́re kidding, right?

Unhappily, I scheduled a follow-up ultrasound was scheduled for January 2, 2015. Then, the following Wednesday, my doctor called with a message I could have done without. I had a “mass” on my right ovary that could well be ovarian cancer and she was referring me to a gynecological oncologist.

Wait, what? 

I thought it was just a fibroid – I thought those didn’t turn into cancer!

She told me they didn ́t know for sure but since she no longer operated, this was the best route for me to take. 

The oncologist didn’t have an opening for eight agonizing days.  

When I finally did get in to see him, he told me the best thing to do would have a complete hysterectomy, performed robotically, and he would simultaneously biopsy the tumor while I was still on the operating table to determine, if any further surgery would be necessary.

Hurry up, wait and pray

My surgery was scheduled for February 2nd, my 58th birthday. Another eighteen days for my imagination to run wild…  

I did my best to carry on normally at work and stay upbeat for my husband. But, believe me, if I thought the eight days waiting for my appointment with the oncologist was agonizing, these 18 days waiting for surgery were a whole new experience in agony.

I remember one day, one specific moment when I was totally overcome with fear. I was coming down the stairs in our house and fear hit me like a ton of bricks. 

It nearly drove me to my knees.

I stopped, closed my eyes and prayed to God: “Please remove all of this fear – I can’t do it.”  

By the time I reached the bottom step, it was gone. GONE. And, after that, I was fine. A bit nervous about the surgery, sure. But that gut-wrenching fear had disappeared.

Happy Birthday to me…

February 2nd came and, for the first time in my life, I wasn’t pleased with the gift I’d gotten: an ovarian cancer diagnosis. While it was Stage 1C – which was better than most got –  it was still cancer.

When my doctor told me I ́d be having chemo, my immediate response was: “We’ll have to talk about that.”

He looked at me like I’d told him he had two heads. I told him that I had no intention of going through chemo. A friend of mine had died as she finished her treatment, my Mom had gone through it and I just wasn’t going to do it – end of discussion.

But then it came to me that it would be irresponsible not to – and so I did.

I won’t kid you though…That first round was frightening.

I cried as I told my nurse about my friend who had died.  She reassured me that I was in good hands. Jimmy stayed with me the whole time. 

Again, I was one of the lucky ones. I didn’t have any problems. I was exhausted all the time but life went on. 

The universe loves a good joke….

Right from the start, my plan was to have chemo on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, feel shitty on Saturday and Sunday, and then go back to work on Monday.  

It seemed like a good plan to me – thank you very much. But you know what they say: “If you want to make the God or the universe laugh, make plans.” 

So, here’s what happened instead…

I never did make it back to work the day after, or even the Monday after. It took me more than a week to get back on my feet. In fact, my routine consisted of a round of chemo and then ten days off. Lucky for me, I had a really great employer and my bosses were so understanding. They just keep telling me to take care of myself and not worry about work. 

With each round of chemo, the fatigue got worse. And as I felt more and more exhausted, the insomnia got worse. There were a couple days after each round that I couldn’t sleep at all. I think that was the worst part of all. 

I used motion sickness patches which really helped me keep from getting sick all the time. And I am thankful to this day that I didn’t have any other side effects – except, of course, for losing my hair…everywhere.

What ́s a little hair compared to this?

This is the story of my experience, strength and hope. I survived, I continue to survive and not only that…

I’m thriving!

I’m now the Vice President of the Board of Directors of the Colorado Ovarian Cancer Alliance, an organization that raises awareness of the symptoms of this killer disease.

I am delighted to give back to them for all the incredible work they do and for the wonderful support they gave me following my diagnosis.

I recently retired from my corporate day job and am now a full-time Life Transition Coach. If I hadn’t been diagnosed with cancer, I doubt this ever would have happened. Chances are good I would have continued feeling satisfied with the status quo.

This life-changing event changed my perspective on life. It made me realize just how much I wanted to do something really meaningful with the time I have left. 

I’m passionate about what I do. I want to share my story to help other women understand that nothing – not a diagnosis, a divorce, a job loss or the death of a loved – has to be the end of their world.

Instead, it can be the start of a new adventure, a new life, the opening of a new world for them just like it has been for me.

Let’s Start a Conversation!

I would love to hear your story about your experience, strength and hope. Please visit me at AmazingOutlookCoaching.com or join me on Facebook and share with me there.