I don’t know anyone who hasn’t heard the words, “Don’t be too full of yourself. Don’t brag. Don’t get too big for your britches.” That would imply a sense of being better than someone else and indicate that others are one down. The reality is, some are more adept at certain tasks than others, by virtue of inherent gifts and talents or skill-building practice.

Several years ago as I was in the seed-planting stages for my first book called The Bliss Mistress Guide To Transforming The Ordinary Into The Extraordinary, I felt a reluctance to put it out there into the world for fear of rejection. Do you know any creative souls who don’t harbor that trepidation? It seems to be part and parcel of the creative process. It was when my author friend Jim Donovan who has likely 10 books in print, vehemently said, “That book isn’t doing anyone any good in your head. Get it out there. Finish the damn book!” That loving kick in the tush, along with my mother (who was on hospice in 2010 when it was still a work in progress) telling me I had to complete it, was the impetus for birthing the Bliss Mistress. After that, the promo machine began cranking out book signing events, radio, and podcast interviews, social media posts, asking people to purchase and then review the book. I’m never been accused of being shy, but it felt uncomfortable to ask for that attention. A fellow writer chastised me for being too attention-seeking when, ironically, that was his style. I preferred to remember the words of motivational speaker Lisa Nichols who was featured in the movie The Secret who told me, “Attract, don’t pursue.” She advised me to continue being of service and all I need would come my way.

All these years later, I’m not totally convinced, since I have been involved with promoting others for decades. I share their accomplishments, products, and services on social media. I talk them up to my circles, spreading good gossip about them.

I am not totally altruistic since my hope is that they will reciprocate. Sometimes they do. Other times they are content to be only on the receiving end. My wise father used to say, “One hand washes the other.” I have mighty clean hands from sudsing up other people’s palms and digits.  On occasion, I feel resentment rise like bile, especially if it seems that those who are recognized haven’t earned their chops. I reason that they are in the right place, at the right time. Fortune seems to shine on them.  At other times, I shrug and say, “Oh, well,” and trust that there will another opportunity to share what I do.

I view my multi-faceted lifework of counseling, coaching, writing, speaking, teaching and healing as my passion and purpose and service to the world. Call it right livelihod. If I hide my light under a bushel, no one can avail themselves of it. If I feign modesty, I will discourage people from partaking. What good would it do to bake a scrumptious pie that sits there fresh out of the oven enticing aroma wafting into the air, only to keep it for myself when others could enjoy it too?

I know what I am good at, and I imagine you know what you are good at as well. Make a list, if you aren’t certain.  Y0u will be amazed at what you have accomplished during your tenure on the planet. You can Google your name and see what comes up. Chances are if you have written articles or books,  or if you have taught classes, if you have been interviewed on webinars, shows, or podcasts, if you have spoken at events, community gatherings or faith services, you will show up numerous times. How does it feel?

What happens when people call attention to themselves? There are some who would say they are embarrassed about being in the spotlight. Others, like me,  crave it. I think of my childhood identity as ‘little Shirley Temple, tap dancing for attention and approval’. That version of myself was considered ‘precocious,’ and at ease interacting with adults. When they viewed me as what would now be called ‘an old soul,’ it afforded me a chance to shine. It also raised my own expectations for what I could achieve.

These days, I toggle back and forth between brazenly spreading the word about what I do and fearing criticism for being too ‘out there’. It is then that I recall the words of another friend who encouraged me to be shamelessly self-promoting.

How would you present yourself, if you too could let the world know about your gifts and talents, sans shame of any kind?

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