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October 31, 2019

Message from Spirit : “ I will help you die before you die”

 

In our life’s journey we may end up discovering several times over and again that certain parts of our psyche (which means our Spirit ) don’t quite connect or fit with others.

This may cause us to feel splited or divided within. We separate the dark from the light and suffering starts knocking at our door.

Seeing all the disowned parts of your Spirit floating into the ethereal dimension, the invisible dimension of our being, totally abandoned or accepted in a halfassed way and looking at those comfortable parts being integrated , accepted and showed off to the world, may oftentimes cause an internal war.

You know it deeply , in the hearts of your hearts.

What are you hiding from yourself ? Let alone from others ?

We may wonder what is this all about?

Why we cronically go through episodes of dispair, maybe depression, fear , anxiety or plain low energy from time to time ?

What is this restlessness feeling that does not go away with a prayer of meditation session?

What is actually happening is we do have parts (yes no matter how much you meditate, or how you reached your peaceful and enlightened dimension that day or another day, no matter how “enlightened “you are…) you still have disowned parts of your spirit floating in the air trying to get your attention and your love to be fully integrated as all your other parts, equally.

This may mean, your ugliest parts, your most vulnerable parts, your most weird and strange parts, your most foolish parts, your most sensual and darkly sexual parts, your darkest fantasies that keep hunting you and more…yes. All these and more.

What do you think of your claimed self love now ?

Can you love your ugliest parts ? Those that may stink ? Those that are dark? Those that are desperate ? Those parts that throw a fit within you from time to time ?

Let me know if you can love this.

And forget about your bullshit “self-love” or “love & light only “. Fuck that. Give me your real, your messy, your ugliest, your weirdest self…your “impossible dreams” or fantasies…your darkest desires…i want to see that self of yours when no one is watching you.

When we start to think about the question : what is happening to me , why do I feel this way ?

That’s a good start and a sign to actually start paying attention to your weirdest, ugliest, most disowned, darkest self.

This question if allowed space will bring inner chaos, inner restless, inner frustration, deep feelings of dispair or depression, anxiety, fear and more of what we call “uncomfortable feelings”.

This experience  will initiate you on a new journey if not resisted…if you allow it to. A journey towards more inner expansion, all inclusive self discovery and self acceptance.  But be weary. You will die. Not physically.

You will start to die as you were. And this kind of death comes in layers.

Anytime you are ready or allow it death will come to help you shed your old layers of your old skin, the old you.

And it will be scary or terrifying at times. It will turn the tables down at other times. It will create havoc internally and externally. You may even go mad for a while. You have to take it all in.

This kind of death is initiated by your Spirit. It does not play small. And it certainly does not play comfortable. It most certainly does not play bullshit.

It will actually ruin your reality as you know it.

It will crumble your inner sky. Like totally. If you not resist.

Things , people, places will start to transform or evaporate.

You will be sent to the unknown terrains.

And it will feel scary. Shaky. It is ok and normal.

More inner chaos will happen.

Allow it.

It is there to actually help you wake up to your greatest , fullest , unique potential.

If you are going through these uncomfortable times in your life where you cant make sense of what the fuck is going on with you , that’s your Spirit (your core/essence) urging you to look deeper, with more self honesty where you are self sabotaging yourself , where you are playing small, where you are feeding yourself outdated beliefs and a whole lot of bullshit scenarios played by fear. Please look deeper.

Some people are gifted with the ability to look deeper and so are you. That’s your gift. Open it up and see what’s there…truly really see…and accept whatever you discover…

If you think playing safe is safer, you may reconsider this belief because it won’t be long before your Spirit will scream at your face (well yes Spirit is not always a peaceful angelic voice, mind you , it can be a thunderstorm at times to wake you the fuck up because it loves you ):

“ Fuck that. I want it all in. I want to be all that I am , not only what you want as per your level of comfort or as per your level of your external reputation. Again fuck that. So allow me to burn bridges, turn tables, destroy the fake and the not authentic in you. Let me destroy your monkey mind which 99% of the time is selling your bullshit and nonsense thoughts that are completely outdated and you still cling to them because you are to scared to let them go. I understand that may feel like you won’t have any sense of identity anymore. But tell me is that your true identity ? The one you hang on your neck every single day ?Or you made it up due to conventional traditions and society’s standards of being and existing?  Is the identiy you are wearing right now really you ? Your essence? Or is simply a facade ? Or is half of what you are ? Look deeper and tell me what you truly see, in self honesty. Dude, I am made of Fire and Air. I burn everything you are not. Because that’s what is causing you unhappiness in your life, at different stages of your life. I want to rise you up to whom you truly are at your deepest. All parts of you, the ugly, the weird , the strange, the non explainable, the fool, the playfulness, the grace, the sexy, the sexual, the erotic…you name it…ALL of you. Not only few parts exposed. Do you dare to allow me show you the way? You will eventually because I know you dream of an extatic, colorful, vibrant existence. That’s why you came here for. I just want to nudge your head and wake you up when you feel uncomfortable inside. That’s a good sign. Don’t worry. Allow me in . Honestly I have no more time for you to waste on your outworn belief system. Dude, it’s time to transform it. Become anew everyday. Become vibrant and free every single day. And hold this intention dear to you as you let go of the old. So I will burn the old you and it may hurt. Cry if you need to. Scream when alone. Feel purging fire run through your veins. This time I will break you open so you can experience the most vibrant , liberated feelings in the world, and have the most fulfilling existence you have ever had. Don’t resist me. I’m your core exactely as I am I am unique and beautiful: ugly, beautiful, dark, light, shadows, weird, strange , foolish, playful, graceful, powerful, silent , sexual, erotic , sensual , thunderstorm…rainbow and more. You thought I was only light and love ? Lol. That’s Me. You. One…I love you. Spirit”

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