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December 31, 2019

The Year I Achieved Nothing: The Aftermath to Breaking Up With Perfectionism.

Last year I achieved nothing. And I don’t plan to achieve anything this year either!

Now before you think I am crazy and delusional or you start to feel worried about me, let me explain. 

Achievement, I discovered after breaking up with perfectionism in 2018, was a shadow of striving and judgment that also had to be released. Perfectionism had been the monster I was running from for so long, and in healing that striving for unnameable ideals, I became more available to real and raw with myself about creating life on my terms. 

So this year I didn’t achieve anything.

I didn’t set goals or new year’s resolutions. I did the least amount of planning ever. I left space in my life and my schedule for magic to happen. 

So what happens when you leave behind goals and achievement?

Impact. Presence. Discernment. Choice. Fun. Joy. Living on purpose!

This year I created and served at a scale I have been dreaming about. And I know I only scratched the surface. 

My year of no achievements went something like this:

  • I taught three times more women online than the year before
  • l lead more immersive in-person experiences
  • I developed a new and potent mentorship program
  • I published two chapters in anthologies
  • I completed the leading program for training Intuitive Guides and Channels 
  • I spent a month in Bali
  • I launched a new program to revolutionize the leadership training for group programs and women’s circles

All without needing to achieve anything. All by following my inspiration and genius. All by celebrating the joy of getting to be me and serve from my heart. 

Here are the top 5 things I learned about myself and the patterns of achievement.

    1. Achievement made me a slave to lack. It meant the not good enough was always present. It was the slave driver at my back, always pushing me to get more done. It kept me locked in depletion and disappointment.
    2. Achievement kept me captive to time. There was never enough time to achieve all that needed to be done. Time mocked me. From a place of non-achievement, I have become the Mistress of Time. 
    3. Achievement led to comparison and competition. Achievement did not help me focus on my lane, my genius, my way, and my flow. I had to do to keep up with what others were doing. Trying to out-do their output kept me feeling unworthy when I perceived that others were achieving more.
    4. Achievement corroded my self-esteem. I judged myself so harshly and entirely for everything inside my patterns of achievement. I had to. How else do you achieve anything? How else do you know how well you did if you aren’t beating yourself up for not doing more? How else can you decide if your achievement is worthy? Ugh. It’s exhausting. It’s corrosive. It’s self-harm and self-violence. Without achievement corroding me, I can support and celebrate myself. I can set boundaries and choose. I can feel good about every little (and big) thing I do and don’t do.
    5. By letting go of achievement, I learned to more deeply embrace my Holy Hell YES and my Sacred NO! Achievement was full of obligation and shoulds. It drowned out my innate wisdom. Without achievement, I am full of choice with my Heart Truth as the litmus test. I resigned from my high-level college administrator position so I could focus on the Holy Hell Yes of teaching and concentrate my leadership energy in places where transformation is available. Without achievement driving me to exhaustion, I have been able to hear my heart clearly about what I want and how I want to create it! 

 

So to sum it all up, what I have found by choosing not to achieve is the freedom to dance to my own drum. Create how I want — living in a way that serves me and facilitates growth.

I intend to head into the new decade not achieving and simply living life to its fullest on my terms. Maybe you want to join me on the non-achievement train?

 

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