This article is written in partnership with We-Vibe^®—they’re dedicated to real bodies, real connection, and pure pleasure. We’re honored to work with them. ~ ed.

The future of sex is already here.

“Technology is used in every aspect of our lives making living more efficient, so naturally sex and relationships are no exception. Technology changes culture, it creates a new language and whether you like it or not, it is already common practice to use technology to connect, feel and relate with others. Through phrases like, ‘He slid into my DM’s… she liked an old pic… they sent me a nude… we sexted last night,’ we can already see how technology is shaping human sexuality and can expect it to become more sophisticated.” ~ Sex Expert, Certified Sex Educator & Coach, Georgia Grace

So, here are some tips to help you better navigate this brave new world of pleasure and connection:

Have Better Sext

It may seem intimidating or overwhelming to some, but it’s actually involving skills we already have, used in a new context…flirting and texting!

Sexting is meant to be a form of digital foreplay and can get us in the mood for sex—whether it be in real life later that same day or by keeping long-distance relationships hot and heavy even when you’re far apart.

“Sexting allows us to explore fantasy. It lets us open up to our partners in a safe way that doesn’t mean we need to actually try in real life,” said Gigi Engle, a certified sexologist, and author of All The F*cking Mistakes: a Guide to Sex, Love, and Life.

For example, you might sext about a hot and heavy threesome or bondage scene with no real interest in actually trying it. “It’s just something that turns you on to talk about and explore with your partner. It can really be eye-opening to explore each other’s fantasies and fuel your fire for an even hotter sex life,” said Engle.

“I break sexters into three different categories,” said Engle. “Romantic, cheeky, and nasty. You usually fall into one more than the others, but there can definitely be overlap. You might be feeling a bit cheeky one day and then go full-on dirty nasty the next,” said Engle. Like sex, sexting doesn’t fall inside of strict black and white rules. Every instance and situation is subjective.

In general, the more adjectives you use, the nastier the sext.

Romantic: I want to kiss your soft lips.

Cheeky: I want to kiss your soft delicious lips before unzipping your pants.

Nasty: I want to kiss your soft delicious lips before unbuttoning your tight pants to feel how wet you are between your gorgeous legs.

Reference back to a moment with the person you’re sexting, suggests author and sex expert, Antonia Hall. For example:

“I loved when your hands were exploring my body last night.” “My favorite shirt smells like you ;-)”

Taunt or tease: “I just went lingerie shopping.”

“Just read about this wild new sex position. Game?”

“Hopping into a soapy bubble bath…thinking of you.”

Hall also suggests introducing the “would you let me” game into your sexting.

“Would you ever let me blindfold you?”

“I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be tied up…”

Once the conversation is opened, giving sexy details back and forth becomes easier. Details and descriptors matter, so offering details that will help conjure visuals is great. If you’re comfortable with it, sharing pics that progress as the conversation goes is also hot.

You can make sexting (and what comes later when you’re together again) even hotter with some of We-Vibe’s beautifully designed and deliciously functional toys.

Things to remember if you’re a nervous beginner:

Sexting (and any kind of sexual play) should be fun. It’s okay to laugh or feel silly. Don’t take yourself so seriously.

Don’t skip to the end too quickly. Sexting allows for a build-up, and anticipation is part of the fun, so let things progress at a natural speed. “Don’t introduce topics into sexting if you don’t know how the person might feel about it. Sharing new kinks during a sexting session could turn things awkward quickly,” says Hall.

Graduating to CyberSex

Of course, there are boundaries that exist, and also etiquette that needs to be set in place, as with any other sexual situation.

“Be clear on everything you would need to be clear on for an in-person sexual encounter—Numero Uno being consent,” said Margot Schulman, love coach and author of Choose Love: A Simple Path to Healthy, Joyful Relationships. Are you sure that the person on the other end of the video chat is into doing this with you?

1. What is your goal?

The second important step is for you to be clear on your goal with having cybersex: “Are you in the early days of dating and feeling out your sexual compatibility with the other person?  Are you deeper into a relationship with someone and looking to broaden the horizons by playing a bit with new ways to turn each other on? Are you in a long term relationship and looking to reignite an almost-but-not-quite-out-yet spark?” said Schulman.

Once you are clear on the above, it’s a good idea to get yourself turned on first. “Get high on your own supply, so-to-speak,” said Schulman.  Because there can’t be the same level of foreplay when you and your lover are physically separated.

2. Set your own mood

Do what makes you feel sexy beforehand. “This will also help you get out of your head and into your sensations which is where you want to be!” said Schulman.

3. Be responsive

You have to keep the “volley” of conversation going. “You can delay in your response a couple of times and build some anticipation, but mostly, keep it going or risk the person losing interest,” said Rachel Russo, MS, MFT, a matchmaker and relationship strategist.

4. Give them what they want

“If you don’t already know what really turns your partner on, find out,” said Russo. Make sure you use that to tease and seduce them!

5. Let them give you what you want

This is where the We-Connect™ app really shines. The video chat feature is much more intuitive and immersive than the previous version, and when paired with your favorite We-Vibe toys, the possibilities for mutual pleasure are endless.

6. Go down memory lane

“If you have had sex in real life, bring up some of your steamiest memories,” said Russo. Tell them exactly what turned you on the most, what you loved about that encounter, how you felt, and more…”

7. Don’t be afraid to get dirty

Like real dirty. “Now is your chance to test out all of the things you want and see how they react—with the crutch of hiding behind your mobile device,” said Russo. Have no shame!

8. As with sexting, don’t take the experience too seriously.

“There is always opportunity for humor when humans get naked and vulnerable and this can be exacerbated when you add in wires and internet failures, etc.,” said Schulman. Keep it fun and playful.

“Technology is transforming and informing sexuality—it can even support us in feeling more human. If sextech continues creating solutions for equal access to pleasure, supporting conversations about sex and intending to connect people with their desires, we’re safe from the sexbots for now. The current sex revolution values sexuality as a vital part of being human, in practicing love, empathy and using technology to support us in doing so.” ~ Georgia Grace