I made a mistake for over a decade.

In my life, I have had clear, concise, decisive things I want and can make happen for myself. I am a “do it” kinda gal and have achieved everything I’ve set my mind to.

I could figure out money, health, home environment, career, family, community, personal growth, fun…

But for years and years, the one thing that never made sense to me was relationships.

I felt like everyone else must have information that I didn’t have.

I believed I must not know what I was doing. So I started asking girlfriends for advice on how to answer a text. I started polling people on what to do “when he…” I found myself reading articles offering advice or tips on (insert name of problem). You name it, I probably did it.

And it didn’t work. I stayed single, and I got even more frustrated.

Since 2018, I’ve come back to myself. I don’t ask others how to answer a text. I don’t poll girlfriends on what to do “when he…” I don’t want advice from other people.

The key to finding partnerships is not in a book about what men like or who men are. The key to finding partnership is within you.

The way I operated (and still do) in the rest of my life is to know who I am, know what I like, ask for it, take chances, and take action.

Dating and relationships, as I have discovered in my time here, are no different.

>> We can’t strategize our way into love by following a formula.
>> We can’t take other people’s advice on what to say or how to say it.
>> We can’t read a book that educates us on what men like or how men think and deliver who we think we should be to a male brain.
>> We can’t follow a program or plan or book and simply vow that, “This time, everything will be different.”

I made these mistakes, and many more, for over a decade.

And since 2018, I’ve applied 100 percent of the energy I used to give to figuring out men (or this situation or that situation) to figuring out myself when it comes to love and relationships.

What do I want? And then I do it.

What would I say if I removed my filter or fear? And then I say it.

I’ve aligned how I do relationships with how I do everything else.

I can’t control the outcome—but I actually never could.