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January 7, 2020

I am sorry you’re having a sh*tty day – please consider this…

I couldn’t send another cute inspirational quote – me quoting the words someone else. Someone that had found some clarity and wisdom in his or her life and had a thought about “how to change our mindset”.  And just because it shows up on our news feed, we are all just supposed to “read and apply” – like a recipe for happiness.  Just that it isn’t – they are just band aids.  These quotes soon become a wish and a burden and we even feel bad about not being able to follow through with their (I admit often beautiful) message – as we read it it feels real and we think: “I love that!  I think I can do it” but as our reality embraces us, when “shit gets real” as they say, that quote becomes so very useless.

I literally have hundreds of them in my phone that kind friends and caring people sent to me over five years when they felt helpless to do anything else and watched me take down my life into a labyrinth of hell and anguish – I appreciated it, that is really all they could do – especially because I wasn’t going to let anyone help me… “I knew better” – oh boy.

So today, instead of sending advice that I rarely apply to  myself – I sent this tell-it-as-it-is “inspirational message” I thought of to someone that I knew was hurting and tired of bullshit, someone frustrated with walking through mud every day, someone that just can’t hear another person trying to deliver the “it’s gonna be OK, you can do this” message one more time.  I hope I was able to help her  – because it wasn’t patronizing, I wanted to make it “real” for her today.  I wanted her to feel my real empathy.  But I wrote it for me as well… I have had many such days – and I actually practiced this often – it helped.

“When your life is in a shit state and it seems to be getting shittier by the minute, don’t add more shit to it. Don’t allow anyone add more shit to it.  Today, do only the shit that is absolutely necessary – not the shit that can wait until tomorrow.  At the end of today, wash all the shit off and be proud that you had enough strength left to handle another shitty day – but have some refuge as you lay back down to sleep and your heart is still beating, your breath is still going – that the reason you were able to go on today is that you still have faith and hope and strength somewhere inside of you, even if it doesn’t feel like it and that maybe (and possibly) someone is looking out for you, rooting for you to help you go on trying – and that is a good thing. Anyone can handle the easy days of happiness and abundance – it takes a special person like you to handle a really ‘shitty’ day”.

Have the least shitty day you can OK?

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