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January 5, 2020

The Benefit of *NOT* Posting Your Boo on Your Insta

When I met Joseph, I knew he was the one. An unearthly feeling arouse in me. As a writer my note pads filled. He opened up inside of me a creative power I had never knew I was capable of. I wanted to share it with everyone. Because of a layer of reasons. Reasons I discovered weren’t as pure as our love.

To be honest. I wanted to brag. I couldn’t believe our story. I was excited about the prospect and promise of dating a foreigner. The mystery behind it all. For the first time I felt I was in a healthy happy relationship and yes, I wanted the world to know. My family for good reason, my ex and old friends for less then “good” reasons. He was handsome and adventurous, spiritual and wildly attractive. I wanted to brag shielded by the disguise of “just wanting to share our love”.

But because of dozens of reasons I had deleted my Instagram and other platforms and for every beauty reason there can be, he wasn’t on them either.

But I didn’t stop writing. In fact my expression exploded. Words lifted from the pages and I carried on writing not for the world to see but for myself. As a piece of expression. I wrote for us.

How many people in relationships honestly write their long posts about their love for only the other person to see? Why not just send it to them then? Because a piece of us crave other people knowing. And maybe there’s nothing wrong with that. But have you asked yourself… Why do you want them to know? 

Obviously and paradoxically I am posting about our love now. So what’s changed?

Not posting on social media during the most “postable” time of my life taught me what it is to live for myself. To love just for the sake of love. To take photos together only to cherish them alone. And for me personally, to write from a space of truth rather then desire.

Now I have notebooks full of prose and I sit beside my love and read them to him as he strokes my hair. No video being taken of this romantic gesture. I share with you all the ones that I feel connected to from an authentic space. And I wonder… What would happen in your relationship if you took a break from posting with your spouse?

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Jessa Janai  |  Contribution: 3,405