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January 24, 2020

Wellbeing – The words you tell yourself are important

The internal world doesn’t always reflect the external world.

Let’s get straight to the point, negative self talk can blind you and hurt you internally. A lot of the time we may not even realise we do it. We experience this in various ways, whether it’s when we make a mistake and the self doubt creeps up or constantly having it occurring in our minds. This kind of negative self talk may be things like “I’m such a stupid idiot” Or  “ah why did I do that, what the hell is wrong with me?”

Now I want you to imagine a scenario, perhaps you share a house or an apartment with someone. Imagine everyday that person said those lines to you. How would you feel? What would you say to that person? Would you tolerate it on a daily basis? NO YOU WOULD NOT! So why do we talk to ourselves like that? You wouldn’t tolerate it from anyone else so why is it excusable every time say it to yourself?

You did not learn negative self talk, it is the voice of someone telling you that specific negative line which then eventually became  your own voice, hence making you believe it. You didn’t learn to say to yourself “I’m not worthy of this” or “I don’t deserve to be happy”. Quite often these voices in the mind tend to be said with such toxicity, and it is not your voice.

Think about a time where you had an idea or before making a decision you may have gone to seek some guidance or advice from someone, which then resulted in responses like “that’s stupid, why would you do that?” or “are you dumb? That’s a terrible idea”. And then you felt down because of it and never pursued that idea or decision.

I remember there was a time when I would speak and I would get responses like “oh here he goes again” and “what’s wrong with you?”. I remember hearing these kinds of things on a daily basis and just feeling so down about it, I remember thinking these people were supposed to be the ones who supported me. This resulted in me not speaking my mind or being myself in certain situations, which led to those voices being said to me becoming the voice in my mind. When I realised this and started to unravel the veils to my truth, I took action.

First I removed myself from these circles of  individuals who did not support my growth or journey in life. Now that doesn’t mean surround yourself with yes men, because constructive criticism when seeking guidance before making a decision or sharing an idea is important, however realise the different between that and those who are toxic for your wellbeing. Affirmation and validation externally to correct the doubt within is not the solution.

Secondly, I realised I can’t get rid of the negative self talk but I can bring in kind and positive self talk which then became louder than the harsh words, eventually drowning that noise. But it’s easier said than done, so what can you do?

What if I told you that you are the most important person in your life, and as the most important person in your life, be kind to yourself. You are the King/Queen of your life, no one is above nor beneath you. It is you and the kingdom of your mind. So nurture the kingdom.

How do you do that?

My advice:

1) Be kind to yourself! Give yourself positive affirmations, be grateful for what life you have. Tell yourself you are the King/Queen of your life. Tell yourself words that are peaceful and good for your wellbeing.

2) Make decisions that last a lifetime! Taking action and making decisions which benefit you and your growth will help you see the positives about yourself. Make decisions that delay your gratification as they are the best, Why? Because you don’t just benefit in that moment you are benefiting yourself  three months down the line.

For example, I go to the gym and eat healthy  because I know if this is continuous, myself in the future will thank the present me.

3) Surround yourself with those you know you can trust completely and be yourself around no matter what! Those who celebrate you! But also those who will keep it real with you always.

4) Trust yourself before anyone. No one knows you better than yourself!

You are the driver of your life, don’t tolerate the voice of others which you confuse as your own. Get rid of those who have infiltrated the kingdom of your mind and know you are capable of doing that which you doubt.

 

 

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