Even the most solitary existence is deeply rooted and rich in relationship.
When our bare feet walk upon the earth in active conversation with the ground, a language of footprints and movement press upon our body—embedding, absorbing, and co-writing a repertoire of existence.
Aloneness—a cavern of thoughts in which we hide ourselves—is only but a state of mind, for life is teeming, brimming, and pulsating in connection and we cannot help but be touched by it.
To make clear, one teaspoon of soil holds more living organisms than there are humans on the planet. Every time we walk outside and feel the wind on our face, we bring its story into our bodies—we contain the evolutionary journey of all things. Each time we meet the eyes of another, or smile upon a beautiful flower, we tell each other we are here, living and alive.
Relationship is the epicentre of existence.
Poets understand reality to be touched by the mystic, bridged between the living and the dead, the thinking and the felt, the mystic and the material.
Relationship opens us to such reality and is at the core of what makes us come alive. The difference between a state of living and of being alive is to be in rapture, feeling. Relationship finds us, creeps through the cracks of our broken hearts, and then leaves us yearning to be met open, honest, and unafraid.
The state of being alive is a realisation born from reflection, which is the gift of relationships. From the gift and grace of contrast with another, unity is revealed. A sense of wholeness and rightfulness is born from diversity’s embrace.
It is bizarre how the centre of the human journey—so tangible and tender—is also the toxic root underneath political mayhem and war. War begins in the heart and the mind of self, and then spreads through the discomfort of that identity mirrored in relationship to another.
A self-loving world would be unbridled from the warmongering mind-gone-mad.
We must return to our focused centre, to give this aspect of ourselves authentic presence with bold vulnerability. We are a world unlearned in the language of love—a people threaded like black pearls of unseen, unheard, and broken relationships. Our courageous hearts keep loving while the mind spins, dizzies, and destroys.
Time nurtures and time annihilates. The strength of our fears and the courage of our hearts are tested in its embrace.
Do we give ourselves over to synchronicities and karmic cycles?
Do we cut cords and retreat to independence?
Do we communicate our feelings honestly as we are feeling them?
Do we show up in our vulnerabilities and drop the projections, expectations, and fantasies?
How do we walk the line of assertiveness and surrender, going for it while allowing it to come to us, giving and receiving? We embrace the necessary and transformative powers of humility. Humility is integral to forming and sustaining authentic relationship, for it brings revelation and clarity.
Love is spacious.
The greatest gift we can give our relationships is that of space. Namely, spaciousness of the mind.
As we soften our thoughts that convince us we know who people are and what to expect of them, we stop weaving the sticky web of projections and allow others to change, evolve, and slowly reveal themselves like a blossoming flower.
How often do we truly express love when it comes to us? Could we open to the presence and expression of love without the whiplash of fear in the stories we hold around it?
We each hold within us the infinite—the infinite potential of transformation, a myriad of personalities, identities, desires, dreams—all longing for expression.
We are capable of so much more love than we allow for ourselves. So often we burn our bridges in hopes to have the space needed to take flight. Whilst this is often necessary, it is not the only path.
We don’t cease loving because we change—love moves through us because it is the nature of life itself. Those we have loved, we will always love. Where there is pain, there is love there too. Even in the unfeeling, indifference, and numbness, love is hiding.
Communication creates safe containers for love.
We are in an age dripping with potential for empowered communication, so why are we so incompetent at it?
Poor communication is like a noxious weed that eats at the foundations of our life until everything falls apart. We are so afraid of expressing love, even calling a relationship “a relationship” because of the congested stories our limited experiences have woven around our minds, narrowing our understanding of what this is.
It is exhausting for us all—tripping, bleeding, crawling, crying, and overcomplicating our lives. For we are so very unlearned in the arts of relating, so very underexposed to healthy relationships, and so very susceptible to illusion, that we make quite a mess for ourselves.
We can only love to the depths of which we love ourselves, the depths to which we have learned to feel and show up, and express those feelings. If we choose to bypass our authenticity, side-step communication, and still expect the raw magic of love, we will face seemingly insurmountable walls without any means to overcome them. Ultimately, it will break our hearts.
Communicating authentically is not something we should do every once in a while; it is a state of being. It is a way of life. It is a devotion to truth and self-worth, with the courage to embrace discomfort and vulnerability as an essential part of life.
Nobody likes “making a deal” of seemingly trivial things—nobody likes vulnerability. Yet we are all absolutely captivated by longing for freedom within our relationships that we may dare to face discomfort so we can evolve together, instead of break apart.
We are each given freewill in our journeys through life. The path of real, spacious, authentic love is difficult because it expands, deepens, and radically transforms our experience of living from shallow to deep, deficient to rich, in all of its intensity that is not always pleasant.
A world nourished by loving relationships and fulfilling sex would cease needless consuming, fighting, and generally f*cking up the planet.
Navigating the discomfort and fear conditioning we have around love is no easy feat. Yet relationship weaves the story of our lives—it is what we remember, what we leave behind.
Let’s build new bridges—between our fear and our love, between ourselves and each other, between our intellect and our feeling. Set your heart free and let it move you.
Rise with love, fall with love, slip in and out of its embrace with each stranger who inspires you, each old friend of chance crossing, every person you admire—don’t be afraid to love. Don’t give in to fear, fear of its implications, its requirements, its illusory cage.
Love does not constrain you. It sets you free.