Life is wonderful, there are many joys and wonders, as well so much to explore and such mysterious things occur throughout life, but there will also be times where situations will lead you to be overwhelmed internally with thoughts and emotions, and can even lead to a lot of self-doubt. Therefore, we may even push them to the side not wanting to face them and really process what is going on.
Sometimes life can be hard, and the pressure we put on ourselves is so overwhelming, it leads us to think about unrealistic realities and create this unknown anxiety about the future. Then the next thing you know you are overwhelming yourself with another menial task, which in your mind, can lead it to become bigger than it is.
Do not blame yourself for not being where you need to be, this society has programmed an illusion that life is like a straight line. Life is beautiful, but it can also be hard. Quite frankly its not a straight line at all. Sometimes you will fall back. The best thing said to me regarding the beginning of each day ‘it’s okay to start again’ and that may mean taking a step back.
Mental and emotional fatigue is a real thing, do not drain yourself or deprive your energy, you are important so, so allow yourself rest if you must.
Some days it feels like what is the point. Those days are your greatest teachers, because through pain and struggle, whether it be external or internal, there will be growth. Feel through it, it does not matter about right or wrong. Their your feelings so you deserve to really feel through them.
I am so harsh on myself…
There are days where I doubt myself so much, I do not know what the next step looks like, I try juggling 101 things at once, and in reality, those things have no relevance and provide no benefit to me. Like many I set myself to such a high standard and expect myself to reach a certain point, then when I do not get there, internally I beat myself up.
I was feeling through so many emotions the other week, these are the days where it feels like a Tsunami, and it feels as though the spiral I get myself into will never end. I kept battling this inner dialogue, I was not focused on the present, I just kept thinking about how sorry I felt for myself for the past and creating unnecessary anxiety about an unknown future
I allowed myself to cry and really release whatever feelings I was internalizing, once all the tears had been shed, all clouds had been removed, doubt had been removed. The best feeling was allowing myself to shed those tears, something I found to be especially useful to myself, as it felt as though I had dropped a bag full of heavy rocks.
I realized throughout all of that time there is one thing I had not accepted, the other day I told myself and it dawned on me something so simple ‘I’m Human, I’m flawed and tainted, I will make mistakes and you know what that is actually beautiful. Where I am right now is exactly where I’m supposed to be’.
Such a simple affirmation to the self, but honestly it helped me really accept that who I am is not going to get things right all the time. And that is okay.
So, remember and remind yourself of that. I detached from this idea of who I thought I was supposed to be, felt through whatever I was feeling, expressed it in a safe space with loved ones and accepted where I am right now.
Time to own it
Now I am sure anyone reading this has watched Avengers: Endgame, what a way to end the trilogy and such an amazing film. One of the key things from the film that stood out to me was Professor Hulk.
On the surface it seemed as though Bruce Banner just merged the brains and the muscle, but if we were to look deeper, he took power and control over the very thing which limited him and which he thought to be outside of his control, his ‘anger’.
He detached from this idea that the Hulk defined him, that the anger was him. So, he decided to own it, take responsibility and control, thus centering and aligning himself, allowing him to live life now without worrying about his ‘anger’ getting in the way.
The lesson I take from this is that you are always in control of your life, your responses, how you treat life and how you react to any given situation. Your emotions can overwhelm you, but you are capable of handling them, they do not control you, remember that. You have the power always.
Back into the zone
Here are my suggestions to how to deal with the internal tsunami:
When everything is overwhelming internally, we can become easily triggered, remember nothing anyone does or anything that occurs is personal to you. You must own how you feel.
1. Processing and expressing
You will not be able to make decisions or take the next step if your mind isn’t present, you cannot focus on completing a task if your mind is set on what you have to do tomorrow. So,take a step back from what you must do and allow yourself to feel through it, sit with whatever is going on, seek spaces with those you know you can be vulnerable with completely. I understand we have blocks that sometimes prevent us from coming forward, but let me ask you this, as a child when you fell or hurt yourself and you needed to cry, you didn’t wait hours or days or months bottling up that pain, you released it, so even in solitude if you have to, express that pain, cry it out, scream it or go to a loved one just to be heard.
Ask yourself if you are triggered, what is this teaching about me? Because it is an indicator of where you need to heal from or grow. I know when I am frustrated, it means I feel as though I am not in control of a situation, which in turn means I am not aligned internally. Because my focus should only be on the present and taking the next step, not a week from now which is irrelevant as I live in the here and now not then, it’s the decisions I make today that benefit my future, not the stressing over a future that is not created yet.
3. Reflection and Decisions.
What new meaning will you give to it? The new meaning you give to whatever you feel or think about internally will allow you to detach from it and take the next step with gratitude. Once you have detached from what you think you are, what you are supposed to do or where you are supposed to be, you will be better aligned to make decisions that benefit you and carry on with life.
Your existence means you are important, detach from what others think of you, or where you think you should be in life, go easy on yourself.
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