June 19, 2020

For the Woman who Knows She’s Meant for More.

My life felt like a dead end.

Every morning, I woke up dreading the meaningless day in front of me. Stuck in traffic. Doing a job that sucked my energy out. Back home. 13 hours gone. Read a book or watched Netflix in the little time left.

Lived the same day again and again. Hoped and looked for a way to escape this prison called life.

Wondering how I ended up there. I did everything I thought would help to create my dreams. Focus on what I wanted. Put up a vision board. Took action. But still, there was nothing to show for it.

I was rejected from the jobs I applied to. My friends kept moving away. And I was left alone in a city that became more and more alien. Trapped in a modern nightmare.

The months and years passed. And one night, I was standing in my bathroom getting ready for bed. While watching Oprah on YouTube. She said, “You don’t become what you want, you become what you believe.” 

Wow, this stuck in my head. I kept thinking about it.

What was it I believed? About me? About life? What let me be desperate for a shift?

Step by step, I figured it out. How to change. The results were miraculous. Within months, I started to travel the world. Attend cool events. And above all, be happy. This was no accident. I have seen people change their lives time and time again. And it all came down to shifting their beliefs.

So what are limiting beliefs?

They are assumptions about something that you hold which restricts you. This can be about yourself, other people, or the world.

A typical limiting belief about ourselves is “I am not enough.” For example, “I am not successful enough.” “I am not smart enough.” “I am not educated enough.”

There are also frequent ones about areas like love or money: “All good men are gone.” “Who am I to earn more?

In my case, it was, “I don’t have enough experience to get a great job.” “I am not smart enough to figure things out.”

This kept me playing small. I didn’t apply to positions I desired. I was afraid to fail. Thus, I did not attract the right opportunities. Instead, I stayed in a life I despised.

How to find limiting beliefs?

What area of your life are you dissatisfied with? Where do issues come up? What experiences did you have as a child about a topic? (This can be about relationships, finances, self-worth, health, and so on.)

I had several issues I had to shed a light on. I was miserable in my job, lonely, and unhappy.

The initial one I focused on was self-confidence. That was the most important one for me to start with.

I wrote everything down and asked myself repeatedly, what do I truly think about myself? The conviction about me not being smart enough stuck out. It was a core issue. I assumed I could never follow my dreams. Who was I to travel the world? To manifest what I desired? And that was what I experienced: the lack of my dreams.

What is it for you? Do you try to attract a relationship? Your dream man or woman? But it doesn’t happen?

Reflect on what you think about love. Did you experience a painful breakup? And you concluded that romance ends in pain? Or did your parents fight all the time? Now, you think love doesn’t work out, so why bother?

Many of our opinions are subconscious. We are not aware of them. You certainly need to dig deep. The discovery process is the first step to change.

How to change beliefs?

What has worked best for me is to ask empowering questions and take inspired action. The questions should be positive and affirmative. Such as: What would it take for me to feel and know that I am smart? What would it take for me to believe in myself?

Regarding love, this could be: What would it take for me to be in a happy, loving relationship?

These statements are empowering. They are the opposite of what you assumed before. And they will help with gradually replacing your old opinions.

They are also open questions. Freeing you up to receive answers—to see things from a new angle and do things differently.

Asking about self-confidence led me to go out of my comfort zone. Practicing to be uncomfortable was something I had read about a long time ago. The knowledge came back, and I acted on it. I started volunteering at organizations and events—something I had always wanted to do, but didn’t think I could as I assumed I had nothing special to offer.

What about you?

Each of us has beliefs. That’s part of human psychology. Some are limiting. Some are not.

The good news is that you can transform the restrictive ones.

Think about what area of your life you want to change. Figure out what your point of view is. What conviction might be buried deep down? Everything that does not serve you. Then use the question method for transformation.

It is simple, yet has the power to shift your reality in a profound way.

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Burjou Kalender  |  Contribution: 185

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