June 29, 2020

Let your Sadness Live.

Good morning, sadness. How did you sleep?

I didn’t sleep too well. I kept feeling you throughout the night.

Maybe we should sleep in different beds. I enjoy your company at times, but some nights I’d like to get some sleep. I hope that’s okay.

I don’t mean to hurt you. I just haven’t slept in a long time and would like to rest. I have a lot of work to do, and I’m falling asleep during the day.

You were whispering to me last night. I tried to fall asleep by listening to the rain, but you spooned me and snuggled up close. I tried to move away but gave up and let you rest your chin on my shoulder. I closed my eyes briefly, but they didn’t stay shut for long. You were warm and familiar. I soon turned toward you and pulled you in closely.

I often think of ending our relationship and walking away, but there’s something about you that keeps me here.

They say there’s beauty in sadness. I look at you and agree. You’re beautiful. You have an ability to feel the depths of my pain. I’ve never known someone to understand this the way you do.

I’ve been encouraged to leave, but I can’t and I won’t. You’re a gift.

Let’s make a deal. We will sleep in different beds, but still go on walks and sip coffee. Let’s have space but also create time for each other. How does that sound?

Yes, you can sleep one more night with me tonight. Just one more time. Okay, maybe a couple of times a month.

Yes, let’s go for a walk tomorrow after work. I bought a new pair of tennis shoes. Maybe in the morning we can wear wool socks, sip coffee, and listen to Passenger.

I love you too. While we can’t sleep together every night, please know I care about you and look forward to holding your hand through this life.

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