“It is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability to recognize, accept, and celebrate those differences.” — Audre Lorde
Like many girls, I was taught this from the very beginning.
Rude behaviour, cruelty, outspokenness, abuse of love is not a part of my power dynamics.
While my parents, closest friends and educators have supported my creative process, there is always a renewed perspective at each age which puts me in place ,thanks to my gender.
What takes the plot even forward is the new age which is squirming for women’s equality, to not be misunderstood as a hopeless emotional species.
I belong to this era.
Now this is a wish song of most women – to be able to equate themselves to opportunities available to the opposed gender. To showcase how much an incredible ear for detail they have too, compared to the men folk.
As a young, quiet, carefree kid, my needs have been anything but to be able to lament the tragedy of the unequal sexes.
I will try and tell you what concerns me more than all of these debates, captivating the world about women’s equality and gender issues.
Ever have the nagging pressure of someone say to you, “Swearing is for men, speak like a lady”
“Common, girls don’t sit like that”, “isn’t it time you thought about not wasting out on work and making children?”. All these thoughts were the exact opposite of what “female freedom” represents to me. Of course, this is no crime. The situational correctness of these statements, may be advocated as well. But when I am called to do so, on the basis of my gender, it is sickening to hear.
I don’t like me pursuing a career or having children, to be a burden shoved down my system.
I may get tattoos and belly piercings but I also do my job well and make my employer and workforce proud. My crazy hairstyle and bent of nose,none of anybody’s interest, they make me, me.
Yes, I use open language but I’m also an avid reader and since I come across a thousand words a day, I but technically have profound interest in showing up with my best literary collection.
Yes, I’m a little more laid-back than the average homemaker but my children have an outstanding mommy who loves them more than anything and takes excellent care of their emotional and psycho-social needs.
All of these things work in harmony, not making me more or less feminine in themselves. It’s a mindset.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that the most feminine thing you could be is be kind. You’re a human woman!
Be gentle and soft-spoken and strong and kickass.
Be the girl who looks up to beauty standards at the same time who doesn’t give a damn about dumping the idea of putting on make up and staying natural on a first date.
The girl who scores a scholarship and yet chooses to take gardening for a lifestyle.
Be the girl who gracefully but sternly responds to that rude chauvinist man who wants to only bang you and yet throw your arms and pull a romantic crusade on the man who honestly woos you.
Honestly, I don’t care if I’m soft or tough because the truth is I’m both; I am both tongue and cheek; and dreams and emotions. So if you too were wondering how to make the most of yourself as a woman , always know that your siblings, friends and children are watching and they will tell tales of a strong yet beautiful woman, they have known and have been proud to be associated with in their precious time on earth.
Photo by Clay Banks from Unsplash