This post is offered in partnership with our friends at Dame. They’re an eco, sexy, fun company dedicated to spreading sexual pleasure and education. We’re honored to work with them. ~ ed.
I am what you’d call a late-bloomer in the world of sexploration.
Only in the last few years have I started venturing into the outer reaches of arousal: toys, booty play, BDSM…and all that lies beyond.
But it doesn’t have to be outrageous and new every time to be good. All routes to the big O are valid—from slow, soulful love-making to a rough, kinky romp. We can also just enjoy the journey without a destination in mind.
There’s more than one way to eat an Oreo, right? Sometimes, I eat the cookie first. Other days, it’s the cream that’s calling my name. Sex is the same: there’s no “right” or wrong way to do it—as long as it’s consensual.
Full-body pleasure: there’s more than one ticket to the land of leg quivers.
Though I’m still a tried-and-true fan of sweet, missionary-style (some might say “vanilla”) sex, I’ve realized that most of us are barely tapping the surface when it comes to pleasure.
And nobody puts pleasure in a corner! Least of all the bad-ass womxn of Dame Products. They’re all about positive sexploration and, let me tell you, their toys open doors to whole new worlds of pleasure: full-body pleasure.
Don’t think of full-body pleasure as more bases to cover. Think of it as a buffet of sensuality.
Cum and go as you please—pick and choose what works and what doesn’t. Maybe you’ll end up discovering something unexpected—something you didn’t know you’d enjoy. All you need to do is take off your sexy-time blinders and enjoy the feast.
It’s time for some sexual expansion…sexpansion!
Listen, I have an amazing marriage. But even the most sexually adventurous of us fall into the hum-drum of a work-eat-sleep-work-eat-sleep routine. We’re busy, and life has a way of creeping up and getting in the way. Often, we end up horny (and tired), so we resign ourselves to the just-get-it-done orgasm.
So, when I was offered the chance to enjoy some of Dame’s pleasure-enhancing products, I was more than game. (Vibrators, yay!)
I didn’t just want a revved-up sexual appetite; I wanted to broaden my sexual palate.
I wanted to play, but my sweet husband was working late. So, with a sh*t-eating grin on my face, I took my little box of vibrating fun to our bedroom, winked before closing the door, and said, “It’s for science!” (It’s our long-running inside joke when trying new naughty experiments.)
The orgasm I wasn’t expecting.
I’m someone who enjoys vaginal sex for the connection and passion, but to be frank, I could orgasm on my own solely from clitoris stimulation. I’m comfortable with it; I know it works—every time.
External stimulation was the way to a toe-curling orgasm, and penetration was (basically) for intimacy. Enter Arc, the G-spot vibrator…
This internal and external toy made me feel like a genuine sexplorer—discovering brand-new realms of pleasure. Arc being totally different from my ol’ faithful, solely external vibrator, this was not your average place here, vibrate, vibrate, increase speed, adjust, aaaand we’re there solo sexy-time.
Surprisingly soft, it slid right into place. Then I kinda moved it around until the “a-ha” moment. Because of its flexibility, I could still find the sweet spot (externally), but there was an added layer of inner pleasure.
It was the orgasm I wasn’t expecting. If I was G-spot skeptical before, Arc made me a believer.
Hands-free sex: but, what do I do with my hands?
Next stop on my solo adventures was Eva II: the hands-free vibrator. I don’t know what kind of witchcraft created it, but I do know they deserve a high five or something.
Ironically, I was actually intimidated by not having to hold it. It felt a bit like my days off from work—“so what do I do now?”
At first, I just kind of laid there—you know, let the pleasure come to me. But then I noticed my hands. I noticed my inner thighs. Alone in my bedroom, I just started to explore…me. I slipped into some kind of heightened superhuman awareness of my own body. I even listened to the sound of my breath change—slow down, speed up, and release—and I have no shame in admitting just that aroused me.
Partnered sex is incredible, and I wouldn’t give it up for the world, but I don’t think I have ever tended to myself the way I did that night.
A hands-free toy means we get to focus on the moment—whether it’s our breath, our partner, or other parts of our bodies we might typically overlook.
Ain’t nothing wrong with some ace-in-the-hole clit stimulation, and Eva II manages to check that box while freeing us up to sample the whole sensual buffet.
Erogenous zones: our bread & butter for full-body pleasure.
Erogenous zones sound like something better suited to a construction site than the silky sheets of a bedroom or fantasy, so I’m going to call them pleasure points.
(Fun fact: “Erogenous” comes from the Greek word “eros” for sexual love and “genous,” which means “producing.”)
Pleasure points are the easily-excited parts of the body with tons of sensory receptors; they take an intimate experience (solo or partnered) and supercharge it.
They’re our bread and butter for full-body pleasure:
1. Inner thigh. Whether it’s just your body or more in the mix, this area is tons of fun to tickle, nibble, and stimulate. This one is already oh-so-close to your usual targets (penis and vagina), so the proximity is a maddening and exciting tease.
2. Anus. This one might seem obvious, but it can be intimidating (or avoided altogether). Even if you’re not ready for the whole shebang, your bum, the cheeks, and even surrounding areas are super sensitive and easily excited. In my experience, a little caressing around the rim always does the trick.
3. Ears. Give the lobes a little love! That tingle you get when someone lightly outlines them with their tongue or lightly sucks is undeniably one of the best feelings ever. Ten out of ten would recommend it.
4. Neck. Whether you’re somewhere around the throat or tinkering at the nape of the neck, this spot is sure to get the juices flowing.
5. Fingertips. Have you ever thought about how many nerve endings are in there? It might not sound ultra-sexy right off the bat, but gentle kisses or sucking on the fingers is a surefire way to heat up any sexual experience. Even holding hands is a sweet & simple way to get closer and add a layer of intimacy.
6. Inner Wrist. Probably more overlooked than the others, this is one of my personal favorites. Similar to the inner thigh, there is something sexy, primal, and “dangerous” (in a safe, fun way) of someone being in full control and tickling a vulnerable area.
Eva II is the small but mighty wonder-toy that opened the door and freed up my hands to explore more of my own pleasure points in solo sensory play that I can only describe as ecstasy.
This little clit-whisperer went from being my new favorite to an absolute staple in our sex toy collection when my hubs joined my “science experiment.”
Partner play: a whole new level of pleasure.
Remember how I said that Eva II was some kind of sorcery? Well, I don’t know how that little thing stayed in its place, but it stayed put, snuggled up, right where I wanted the entire time.
I think my husband and I had a similar wave of “what do I do with all these extra limbs?” But once we realized Eva II had Spidey senses and really wasn’t going anywhere, it opened the door to a next-level sexual experience.
And you know those crazy vibrating sequences some toys have? Eva II has three speeds (no crazy patterns). Dame is clearly designed by vulva-owners for vulva-owners: they know we don’t want the Star-Spangled Banner buzzing away on our vulvas during partner play.
Hands-free is even more of a game-changer with two pairs of hands. I can’t stress enough how incredible it was to feel so absolutely in the moment with my husband. And since I had the external stimulation taken care of, we both got to feel each other, see each other, and be together in a new way.
It’s not that this level of bone-rattling pleasure wasn’t available before; we were just too preoccupied with other things. This was full-body, take-your-time sex—and it rocked my world.
So, if you’re contemplating what else is available on your own sexual buffet table, go sexploring. It’s for science!
6 Ways to Broaden your Pleasure Horizons.
Pillow, for sex
4. Eva II
Vibrator for fingers