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October 7, 2020

When Life Has Other Plans (Poem)

Sometimes,
Life has other plans.
Than the one you
Thought.

So, we fight,
We bargain,
We plead for
It to be different.

But it’s all
Going to be how
It is anyways.

So why do
We fight what’s
Happening?

It may trigger us,
The upsets,
The lapses,
The setbacks,
The miscommunications.

We fall into similar
Story,
But
Noticing
It this time.

Patterns
Grow deeper
Than weeds.

Because perhaps we didn’t
Pull them
Out by the roots
The first,
Or tenth time.

We’ve been trying
To plant new seeds,
Of self love,
And respect,
And truth speaking.
A little at a time.

Voicing what we feel,
Underneath cool
Calm exterior,
Showing truer colors
Is scary
When we’ve been
Taught
That’s what
Makes us broken.

So, we surrender
What feels broken,
Wonder how we
Got broken in
The first place.

And how will
We seal the wound
Shut this time?

Perhaps, needing
To clean out the
Inner layers
Of it,
Purify the wound
With fresh ointment.

We can observe
The ick,
Feel the ick,
Not like the ick,
And still stay
With the ick.

It wasn’t supposed
To “feel good.”
Healing doesn’t
Always feel good.

It feels like
We are doing it wrong.
Like somehow
We messed this up too.

That our fears,
Triggers,
And activated system
Means we failed.

But maybe we only
“Fail” if we
Continue to
Jump ship on ourselves
Every time we
Have a negative reaction
To life.

And, even then,
There is learning.

How to stay with it
A little longer.
Keep staying with it.
A little bit more.
And a little bit more.

We can still
Stay with life
As it shows up,
Even if it
Shows up
Differently
Than expected.

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