Thanks (but also no thanks), Facebook, for the memories.

Exactly two years ago I was gallivanting around India (actually not quite… not sure anyone gallivants around India when they’re hopping on and off sleeper trains battling with laden backpacks) for two months taking a well-deserved break.

Looking through some of my pictures taken in Varanasi (the holiest of Indian cities) I found myself reflecting on how I felt at the time. Gratitude in abundance; I felt truly grateful that the boss had given me the green light to take the time out when I mentioned it over our annual Xmas lunch (that was always such an indulgent treat). I felt safe (and valued) with the knowledge that I had a great job to return to.

Of course, I feel super blessed that I even have such amazing memories but oh to feel that safe and valued … not to mention the monthly dollop of £ going into the bank. Was I complacent? Maybe a little. Did I take a great job and a monthly salary for granted? I don’t think so… I’ve always been so very grateful for the blessings that my job and the rewards made possible.

Never in a million years could I have imagined where I’m at. 2020 has terrified and drained me. I’m so flipping tired of this year’s life lessons and it’s certainly not really apt to wish anyone a ‘happy’ Xmas. Who cares? It’s just December. Another month to survive and wish our loved ones to stay safe.

Dear Santa

It’s been a while. I’ve been good. I haven’t broken the COVID rules and despite how I might come across I’ve been prepared to do what it takes to keep heads above water. For a few months I have cleaned an office every evening to cover the weekly food bill. (First time I’ve said that out loud in the ether)! Obviously never thought I would be cleaning to put food on the table (I’ve employed a cleaner at home myself for years) but there you have it.I’m still a bit of a snob (no idea how or why) but ego has no place when survival mode kicks in.

So look here. I’m bored of being invisible and rejected. Can you stop by Thursday night with a hefty lottery win so I can run away, buy a house near to the sea, grow lots of veggies in the garden, buy some chooks and adopt some doggy brothers and sisters for Bob? I will need enough money left over in the bank for bi-annual adventures until I’m 85. I still need to feed my wanderlust of course (she’s still in there buried under the ‘Bell Jar’ gloom of 2020)!

The vegetarian mince pie will be waiting – I’ll be pretending to be asleep.

Me

Ps. Don’t bother stopping by with a substitute (Sainsburys do that)!. A naffing onesie isn’t going to cut it fat boy! If you ignore me (like everyone else) Rudolf can wazz off too.