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December 8, 2020

How to Reclaim your Space After a Breakup.

Everywhere you look, there they are.

There’s the hallway you danced in together, and the bed you laughed in. The kitchen, where they made your favorite meal, and the porch you stargazed on. There’s the living room that witnessed your goodbye.

Everywhere is something. It’s in the furniture and your clothes, and in the mirror staring back at you with one less reflection.

Do you hate it here, now? Me too.

It’s full of memories, and the loneliness screams at me. The vibe isn’t the same and it’s hard to relax. These walls have seen everything: the good, the bad, and the ugly. They’ve heard your laughs and your cries and they need to change—because everything has changed.

How do we get our space back after a breakup? How do we make it feel like home again?

I change what I can, because changing what I see changes how I feel. I used to run, though, which took change to the extreme—new house, new friends, new state. But when you get older, running away and starting over isn’t always doable, is it? I mean sometimes it might be a practical option, and sometimes it might even be necessary, but most times it’s not.

In the past, I’ve also dug into my savings account and replaced everything I could afford to replace: bedding, furniture, cups and dishes, bath decor, even underwear. If you’ve got the funds, go ahead and use them. Sometimes our peace is worth the price; I know this from experience—I promise.

But since I’ve already been there, done that, and spent it all, I have to get creative. But, how?

>> Get out last year’s shower curtain or a stored-away painting to hang in your freshly scrubbed bathroom.

>> Use a new soap scent.

>> Move the wall decor, take something down, or make something new.

>> Rearrange your furniture.

>> Switch the couch blanket.

>> Dance by yourself in the hallway to a song that touches your soul.

>> Move the litter box and feeding dishes.

>> Find a new show to watch or book to read.

>> The stuff you never got to declutter? Throw that sh*t away.

>> Put the nice shirt they liked in the back of the closet and revisit it next year, when the tender feels have settled.

>> Invite a loved one over and create new stories for your walls to tell.

Nothing changes if nothing changes, and after a breakup your energy needs a shift. Whether you’re on a budget or have enough to flaunt it, do something different for yourself.

And don’t feel silly if you have to walk around for a while saying, “This is my space” under your breath. You gotta do what you gotta do—and I’ve done it, so I know it helps.

~

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