People often ask me, “What do I do with my emotions?”
I’m sure, at some point, even you would have wondered about the same.
Emotions are there for a reason. A life without emotions would be dull, robotic, and lifeless!
Imagine, how would it be if you just couldn’t feel anything?
How would you differentiate between what you like and what you don’t?
How would you decide what you want versus what you don’t?
How would you know what’s working for you and what’s not?
Even though emotions can be a bit difficult to handle at times, yet we can learn to steer them rather than be steered by them all the time.
We must strive to handle our emotions in an optimal way in every given situation.
We need to strive toward “emotional attunement” with our own selves. Before we can reach a state of attunement with someone else, we need to be there with our own selves.
We need to be able to recognize, understand and steer our emotions in ways that enable us to lead an emotionally rich life.
Here are some ways in which we can do that:
1. Learn to not take everything personally. When we attribute everything that someone is saying to us, our mind is in constant overdrive. We are constantly agitated, irritated, hurt, angry, or sad. Not everything is about you!
2. Notice the behaviors that are not working for you. In everyday life, we all end up engaging in some behaviors that keep causing discomfort either to us or to others. Letting such behaviors carry on for a long time will only lead to more issues. Watch out for them!
3. Stop the self-defeating self-talk! Our external life is just a mirror of our internal life.
“I can’t do it!”
“Why does it happen to me?”
“Life is so unfair!”
“Things never work out for me!”
If these are the things you keep telling yourself, it’s only a matter of time before they become your reality. Either things actually won’t materialize, or when they do, you would have lost your faith and trust.
In turn, such self-defeating talk will only increase your level of frustration, anger, and helplessness. Thus, taking away all your power to actually create a meaningful change in your life.
4. Take out time to unwind. Your mind also needs a break from all the thinking, planning, handling, and executing! It needs to relax so that it can refuel itself and help you become more effective and efficient in every way.
Taking a break, not doing anything, or indulging in things that you like, every once in a while, is good! A little bit of snooze wouldn’t hurt!
5. When feeling overwhelmed by a particular emotion—slow down.
When we feel overpowered by an intense emotion such as anger or anxiety, it’s important to simply slow down. Have some water, breathe deeply and let the emotion subside. Once settled, you can then proceed to handle the situation appropriately.
6. Stop judging yourself for having feelings! We are emotional beings, and without this ability to feel, we would be nothing more than machines.
We can’t help but feel what we feel. Yet, letting the emotion drive us all the time, or not, is up to us.