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I was recently rejected from a site I really wanted to write for.
I had waited months to find out and then with one email, boom!
The rejection fairies were here to visit me once again.
I used to think getting older and having more of these on my belt would make it easier, but it doesn’t. It still stings, aches, and agonizes me when I get rejected and have to face disappointment.
Having gone through this before, I know all the one-liners and common explanations when these things happen. Maybe we’re being protected from something or maybe that experience wouldn’t bring us the joy we assumed.
No matter how we try to explain away what has happened, it is still an energy we have to allow to exist and move through us.
Below are five salves to help us out when we are facing rejection or disappointment:
1. Feel your feelings—all of them.
At a workshop a few years back, the speaker said this: “Feelings come up to come out.” The best thing we can do for ourselves is sit with the yuckiness and let it be. It will eventually pass, as life is always moving forward.
It completely blows when something doesn’t go our way, especially things we have worked hard for. Acknowledge this and release this energy in some way. Don’t be afraid to have a crying or screaming fest or stomp like a hungry toddler who missed their nap.
We are allowed to feel sorry for ourselves for a few minutes. Life is full of sad things, and it’s okay to be with it. Shoving a reaction down doesn’t help anything.
2. Remember an accomplishment or twist of fate to re-establish trust in the process.
When I face rejection, it really helps me to think of something in my past I am proud of or that worked out after a previous rejection or disappointment.
When we think of something that worked out for us, it realigns us with divine timing and trust in how we are being protected or taken care of. We remember our resilience, our talents, and the ways fate has stepped in and helped us.
The Universe has a sense of humor and things always seem to fall into place, even when we are gripping our fists to have it be different. Sometimes, our way is not the best way.
3. Do a small ritual or prayer to let the rejection or disappointment go.
Light a candle and take a few deep breaths. Establish connection with your spine, pelvis, legs, and feet.
Thank whatever has decided to not come into your experience at this time (or has left) for teaching you whatever you needed to know for now. Thank it for finding you and helping you grow in whatever ways—ways you may not be aware of right now. Ask it to leave your field with light and grace and to only return if it is for the highest good for you and for all involved.
Trust that your soul knows the way and will guide you to the next step.
4. Take a small action that makes you feel creative, strong, or curious.
Life moves on and we must move with it.
Do something that makes you feel good. Take a walk. Paint a picture. Make some awesome mini muffins. Find a way to get out of your head and into your body.
It’s shocking how fast we can move forward once we establish momentum. Ideas start to surface, and we begin to willingly look ahead rather than behind. We start to create new energy within our sadness.
5. Take an inventory of all you did and trust it was enough.
When I got my rejection email, I immediately started trying to fix the situation. Maybe I didn’t share enough links, or maybe my social media following needs some work. Should I write them back and ask why? No, no, don’t do that. Just let it be.
After rejection, it’s difficult to pat ourselves on the back. Our goal was not reached and so, we feel unworthy of looking for the good in the situation.
I started to look at what I had learned and it turned out to be a lot—more than I realized at first. Once I started taking an inventory, I had a different perspective about the situation.
Trust that you did what you could and remember there are lots of factors involved with everything we do or try. It’s not just about us, but about a collective experience.
I recently saw this awesome tattoo. It said, “Wait, and you will know…” I’ve lived long enough to know that in time, all things are solved. Either we find out why something happened or our lives change and we no longer care because we’ve moved on.
And in my experience, rejection always turns out to be protection and redirection—if we have the courage and faith to look at it that way.