As a therapist I  hear the following line frequently “ I just want to be happy”

I spoke with a fellow colleague and therapist Kim Larson-Semenuik this week . She shared with me an exercise that she likes to use that she calls  “Your Recipe For Happiness “ this requires and calls a person to explore and define what happiness means and the ingredients that are necessary to create that which you desire.

I smiled listening and watching Kim light up explaining. I like this analogy and concept and it made me reflect on my own life and what I need and desire.

Certainly the recipe for  “Happiness” is constantly changing and it should change.
I personally do not use the word happiness to explain that state of being that which is my bliss. I like words like content , satisfaction, calm, grounded, peaceful and Bliss !

The thing is I can experience and feel this way even during difficult periods or experiences – we all can!

How is this possible you might ask?

We can experience difficult life events and have a range of emotions. The truth is thoughts and emotions are like clouds or cars on a freeway – they come and go !

We are observer and witness to these thoughts and feelings.

Bliss I feel is that heightened state and the moment I feel pure Joy knowing that what I am doing is what I am meant to do – creating.

I feel a sense of connection in this moment!
Oh, I do yearn to be blissed out!
It is a wonderful feeling !

Certainly when I explore this the ingredients are clear to me I need the following : freedom, spontaneity, creativity and flow as well as spiritual connection and love. These are the ingredients I need to feel bliss. I reflect and question is this bliss easier to obtain than happiness ?
Right now with so much uncertainty struggles and challenges in the world at large “happiness” for many may seem unattainable, unrealistic and down right sad. Now isn’t sadness the opposite of happy? Oh, the irony that in search of happiness humans feel sad. Perhaps because they feel that they have failed at happiness or obtaining status in life. The job, the car , the partner and the title.

Happiness for many is a destination.

This made me think and delve deeper.

This made me think about happiness in terms of an experiment.

To think of this in terms of an experiment takes some imagination.

Imagine that you woke up tomorrow feeling completely different.

All of your pain and frustrations have disappeared and in place there a sense of serenity calm and peace.

You feel alive and renewed without fear, worry or anxiety.

Now write out what changed?

What did you let go of to feel this way? What appeared different? What are the thoughts and feelings that you experienced in this imaginary state?

How did you look?

Who was with you ?

What were you doing ?

This is an exercise of course and some call it

“ The miracle question”

I call it the “ life experiment” we can easily become lost in a sea of our negative thoughts and emotions that we lose sight of life and what  is truly meaningful.

To live fully and completely is Bliss even though life may be difficult and we experience loss , challenges and change .

We do know that We have no control on the external- this we can not change.
We can change how we react and how we think and feel.
We might be heaving a heavy load that we really don’t need or perhaps those bags don’t even belong to us?

Happiness isn’t a static state for we are forever changing and what would life be like if there were no changes or ups and downs?

We are meant to evolve, learn and grow here in these moments that added up create our life!

Today I encourage you to take time to check in with yourself.
Check in with your body and the sensations and feelings.

Is there tightness and holding ?

How about those feelings ?

Even difficult emotions have a purpose.

Honour them !

Listen and lean in.

Ask yourself “ what  kind of life are you living?”

Welcome to your life and your very own happiness or bliss experiment. It really doesn’t matter what words you choose to use.

What matters is that you awaken to the possibilities and live fully and completely in an often messy and unpredictable world.