April 26, 2021

Why I Always Choose to See the Good in People. 

I often see the good in people—I see good in everyone.

I have to believe we are all good in some sort of way. I mean we have to be, right?

I had just left the gym after a long, hard workout—weights, spin, and a strength class when my tummy rumbled. I had only plans to weed my garden today, so I had time to stop for some breakfast.

I pulled into the parking lot of my favorite diner. The bright neon green sign lights up even on a sunny morning. I lucked out with seating right away. The weather was warming up, so I decided to sit outside to enjoy the warm spring air. I pulled out a book from my bag (I always carry a book with me as one never knows when it will come in handy).

At the table next to me, there were two women talking rather loudly. I tried to keep my attention on my romance novel. Smith was finally going to kiss Zoe. I was quickly losing the battle to mind my own business. The gorgeous woman closest to me with long red hair was explaining an issue she was having with a work friend who was “one-upping” her in every conversation they had.

Her adorable friend directly across the wooden table with short, clearly colored blonde hair jumped in to add to the story, as she apparently heard this story before, “Oh, and she is getting worse with the ‘one-upping.'”

Me, the person who sees the good in everyone, immediately defended their work friend who they were talking about—in my head, of course. I thought to myself, “Well, maybe she doesn’t realize she is ‘one-upping’ you. Maybe she thinks it’s an open conversation about the kids, so when you send her a picture of little Johnny, she thinks it’s time to share kid pictures; so she sends you a picture of little Timmy. Now granted little Timmy is clearly ‘one-upping’ little Johnny. But maybe, just maybe, there is no intent to hurt anyone. She just might want to show a picture of little Timmy.”

I can’t help but always defend the underdog (the work friend is the underdog because she is being talked about). Even if that underdog is clearly doing something not approved by everyone else, I have to think this particular person doesn’t do it intentionally.

Maybe the work friend has something going on within, which makes her “one-up” everyone else. Maybe she has low self-esteem, and she does it without realizing she is actually doing something that might make a friend upset.

People are not cruel on purpose. I doubt people wake up and say, “Today, I’m going to piss off all of my friends by doing this and that.” If you actually did that, you probably are a sh*tty person, but I can’t imagine people actually do that.

People are people. Generally, they are just trying to navigate through this world in one piece without falling apart. There are no instructions on how to live this life. I think we are all doing the best we can.

I blame my libra-ness for my positive outlook on the good in people. Libras are known for making things orderly and aesthetically pleasing. Libras like making peace between others.

Is it so wrong to believe everyone has good in them? Or am I living with blinders on so I don’t have to see the horribleness that some might actually have in them? With anything in life, too much of anything is not good. So if we can somehow land in the middle of the two, we can keep it real.

A good person is someone who is good to other people. It’s that simple.

To see the good in everyone, we must see them for who they are, even the not-so-great parts about them and accept them for who they are. This will keep it real so we are not walking around with blinders on, yet keeping an open mind to the good within everyone.

For starters, we need to be a good person ourselves. We know we are good, but maybe we are so busy we forget. We become a good person from our thoughts, words, and actions. Be kind to everyone, including animals. Own your mistakes. Don’t allow room for drama in your life. Always learn. Listen. Be willing to go the extra mile.

Once we are aware of our own goodness, it will be easier to have an open heart to see the good in others.

We just need to look. Stop and really look. Make eye contact. You can truly see someone’s soul if you look in their eyes. Be willing to forgive others for their mistakes. You will notice their honesty and trustworthiness. You will start to see how they treat others with respect. You will see their goodness if you open your eyes and heart.

When we see the good in people, we’re more likely to see our common humaneness. And that can make this world a better place.

~

 

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