Somewhere hidden in the shadows,

There’s a notebook.

In it, is my handwriting

and it read

Never give up on me.

You still have it, I know.

Pictures of robots are now replaced by kids

And spouses

And dogs

And I have given up, on me.

 

In so many ways, I feel a sense of longing.

And I miss you.

By far, the hardest part.

 

You.

Her.

Laughter early in the morning.

Like ghosts cackling in the next room.

Mostly, the way you loved me.

And my handwriting.

 

There are things that keep me well

 

I know you will never give up

I look into my daughter’s eyes

And I never want her to miss me

Or you

I never want you to miss me

For that pain is too much to survive

 

Little L had it right when she drove

Naked through the world

Maybe all it takes is her tenacity

To never give up

On me

 

And that smiley sun I woke up to that one last morning with you

Few may understand.

What it feels like to chase a smiling sun.

 

I consider myself lucky.

 

~