Is it sisu—tenacity of purpose, grit, determination—or is it just plain stubbornness?
Underneath my calm demeanor,
I wait for my “mud to settle and the water to clear.”
While in my grey matter the synapses are on fire—
Emitting sparks of flashing colors and soaring heat.
You see my smile, but not my chaos.
For she is carefully hidden in closed compartments.
Like the spinster who conceals her toys in clean sheets and blanket drawers.
You see calm lake waters;
I feel raging seas, tossing boats, and tumbling buoys.
They say we need the dark and danger
To appreciate the light and wonder.
Patiently, I wait.