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June 26, 2021

A Beneficial Friend

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.

“Mankind will always need sexual relations regardless of relationship status as humans are sexual beings”

Last night my lifelong friend was over for wine and a heart to heart. The topics of the night were life, love and sex. The above quote came directly out of her mouth.

As the rain softly fell we watched from my veranda laughing and reminiscing. I was reminded of a discussion we had two and half years ago after I left a long term relationship. Tonight I was asked again  “ How is your single life going?”

I smiled and felt that sinking feeling as I knew the direction of the conversation. Our last conversation on this topic I fear I offended my friend so I tried to brace myself. I paused, sighed and settled in.

I reflected back.

The last conversation we had my friend shared her own experiences with “ friends with benfits” At the time I was mortified that this was being suggested to me.

“Doesn’t she know me ?” I thought

In response I scoffed and scolded and tonight was different.

In response to my singlehood I shared openly.

I have spent an entire year alone without any touch. Absolutely none!

I feel like my brain and skin are on fire now craving human contact.
I offer this, even though I am experiencing this now I know that I am not alone. I also know that I am wired to fall deeply and passionately in love. I energetically connect with touch and I have a desire to learn and share deeply and this doesnt jive with “ friends with benfits” matter of fact I have really strong physical boundaries because I feel other people’s stuff so intenesely.

The way I feel personally has nothing to do with my perception or judgement of others.

I believe there are many different relationships and what matters is that people are safe, respected and heard.

What works for some people will not work for others.

I’m a serial monogamist. “ I’m still dreaming of that one perfect union” I say and sigh!

I feel like this conversation went better.
The conversation was beneficial and I do value different thoughts and perspectives. I value my friendships and they are beneficial to my heart and my soul.

Wherever you are at right now in or out of life or love we are not alone. There is someone out there waiting to meet someone just like you! Someone craving for connection and yearning to learn and grow with you. We are all humans after all. If you feel “ friends with benefits” is beneficial then who cares what others think. It is your life after all.

Love and Life are unfolding

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