The afternoon winter sun is delicious in Johannesburg.
Coffee and a few mouthfuls of something sweet…I have a weakness for pastry, and today, it’s a mini almond croissant.
A digression: more coffee shops should have something small. A few mouthfuls to have with coffee. It is something that’s missing from our awareness.
I can’t look at the sun directly; I look at its edges. And so often, by looking at the edges of things, we slowly can see more.
I close my eyes, bring my awareness to the skin of my face, and feel the warmth there.
Breath is such a key element of awareness, presence, and sensuality.
I bring the coffee to my face. I inhale the aroma.
I breathe again…
I take a sip…one sip. I taste it in my mouth and bring my awareness to its temperature.
I swallow, slowly. I feel the coffee as it goes down, then I exhale.
I breathe…I listen to the birds’ voices chirping nearby.
I breathe…I bring the pastry to my nose, then I inhale.
I take the first bite…I feel and hear the crunch of the outer layers, then I taste it.
The almond paste is sweet and sticky and sensual.
I breathe again…
I take a sip of coffee, aware of the sun. I hear myself swallow, exhale, and release a small sigh of pleasure.
I feel the cup in my hand—the warmth of the coffee inside.
I look at the sun as it dips lower in the sky and feel the cooling air as it goes behind the trees.
Each mouthful, each sip is different.
My mind wanders to my lovers. I long to taste, feel, smell, and desire. And I breathe myself back to the coffee, to the sun, to the sweetness, and to the present moment. To all that’s in the moment—loneliness, intimacy, aloneness, connection, love, openness, sensation, and sensuality.
When we think that something is lacking, we must look at what is there rather than what’s not. We must look at the texture, the weight, and the space of what is there.
The pastry is finished…there are a few sips of coffee left.
I smile. I breathe.
We can do this exercise with so many moments in our lives. Everything we need is within us.
In sensuality, we learn to listen to the inner vibration of ourselves.
In sensuality, we learn that we are.