We all have our strengths and weaknesses.
Sometimes when a person is hurting, they hurt other people, yet not intentionally.
The concept of labeling people and relationships as “toxic” is mean and unhealthy.
What is happening now is adult children are abusing their parents by abandonment. Adult children will not speak to their own parents. Adult children are excusing their abusive behavior by saying, “Mom is toxic.”
When that adult child was young, their mom did not say, “I put my child in foster care and refused to talk to them because they were a toxic brat.”
Moms do what they can to raise their children.
Clearly, some people are better parents than other parents. Some parents have more privileges.
For example, I read an autobiography by Alan Alda, who starred in “Mash,” appeared in many other successful films and made millions.
In his book, he bragged about how he had a great relationship with his children. He talked about taking them on European vacations when they graduated.
The average person cannot afford to send their child to the best college. The average person cannot afford to take their children on vacations to Europe.
For the parents who are struggling financially, the children often resent their parents.
The children wonder: why is mom (or dad) unemployed?
The prevailing theory is that if a person is “fired” from their job, they were a bad worker. Often that is not the case. Often that worker just was unable to fit in with the group.
Maybe they had jobs where the group was full of uneducated smokers who complained all the time. They liked each other, but they did not that person.
Could you imagine being labeled toxic by your child? It would feel like a dagger to the heart.
Why get mad at a woman for marrying a guy who has a good job? Why not get mad if she has the child of a guy who does not have a job or who has other children he does not pay child support?
Get mad at the people who have children and expect the world to feed and care for their kids.
In my opinion, the people who take care of their own children without relying on the government, their family, or church should be encouraged.
Anyway, I am getting off the topic.
Parents normally do not label their child as “toxic” regardless of the child’s age.
This is something that children who are “adults” are doing to their parents. Sometimes they are doing it to their friends.
In the old days, people would argue and have a dispute. They made up afterward. They did not cancel the person.
It is cruel to completely cut contact with a person. Why not just limit the contact?
The Lord’s Prayer includes:
“Forgive us of our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”
Treat people how you would like to be treated.
Do you want to be labeled toxic?
Do you want your children to grow up and abandon you?
Do you want your friends to decide that you are a “toxic” person?
No one wants to be labeled as toxic.
The only time I would think that it is okay to label a person as toxic is if they are an actual murderer.
The word “toxic” means poisonous.
I had a friend once tell me that they would contact family when they worked at a homeless shelter. If a child of any age ended up at the shelter and their parents were contacted, they would travel anywhere to get their child.
Conversely, if a parent is in a homeless shelter, and the shelter staff contacts their children, the adult children want nothing to do with the parent in need. Often times the adult children will yell on the phone and just hang up.
What kind of person treats their parents in this way?
My parents are now passed on; they were no picnic. One of the things that I am most proud of is that I was always kind to my parents.
When they needed help, I helped them.