“You never know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice” –Bob Marley

In Kentucky, my dad and I were 20 miles east of the tornadoes that recently hit while visiting family a few weeks ago. Luckily, everyone we knew was okay, but the impact was devastating.

And being close to a natural disaster—along with reflecting on another year of new variants, and future uncertainty—makes me think about intense fragility of our lives. And just how incredibly resilient we can be in times of adversity.

Like a friend surviving stage four breast cancer, or others dealing with infertility, death, mental illness, poverty, and more—is resilience at the core of these people’s ability to cope and thrive? The answer is overwhelmingly: yes.

This is especially important as mental health has become rampant during the pandemic, with soaring rates of anxiety, depression and burnout especially for our youth. But some studies, like this one from Italy, have shown that a good percentage of adults have found a way to flourish, even when dealing with the crisis. This demonstrates resilience.

The Oxford Dictionary defines resilience as “the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties, toughness. The ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape; elasticity.”

It may be surprising, but the brain has its own plasticity. Known as neuroplasticity, neuro refers to neurons, the nerve cells that are the building blocks of the brain and nervous system, and plasticity refers to the brain’s malleability. Which means our brains’ building blocks can change and be molded because of our experiences, associations, habits and more.

The adage “neurons that fire together, wire together” also says we can make changes in our brains through our thoughts, actions, and emotions. And health professionals have found “self-directed neuroplasticity” or consciously influencing our minds in positive ways, such as mindful movement or meditation, can enable us to receive what we need to lead a fulfilling and happy life. For example, many studies have shown regular yoga practice increases gray matter volume in the insula, which is related to basic survival needs, as well as in the hippocampus which controls emotional memory recalling and regulation.

By consciously influencing our mind in positive ways, it might also help us come back to homeostasis or balance more easily. A neuroscience model founded by Clinical Professor of Psychiatry, Dr. Dan Siegel, called The Window of Tolerance helps us to develop good practices for improving and maintaining mental health and wellbeing. It offers a way of different way of thinking about how we can optimally function, in our various roles, and how to better manage when heightened emotions begin to have a negative impact.

The Window of Tolerance describes the best state of ‘arousal’ or stimulation in which we can function and thrive in everyday life. When we exist within this window, we can learn effectively, play, and relate well to ourselves and others. However, if we move outside of our window, we can become hyper-aroused—like high energy anger—or hypo aroused, like experiencing a low mood.

There are many practices, especially for children and teens, worthwhile exploring here. But the breath can be extremely effective for some to regulate emotions, especially when used with movement, also known as yoga!

Try this 7/11 breathing technique:

• Set a timer for two minutes.
• During that time, breath in for a count of 7 and out for a count of 11. The longer outbreath triggers the parasympathetic response, which calms the body.
• For younger children 3/5 breathing can be used. Also blowing bubbles, making the blowing extended in length; and hot chocolate breath (imagining smelling the hot chocolate through the nose and cooling the drink by gently blowing out) are good, too!

We all have different ‘windows’, due to factors like significant childhood experiences, our Neurobiology, social support, environment, and coping skills. The size of our windows can alter from day to day, but the wider we can make the window, the less likely we are to experience anger and frustration, or feel flat, low, and lacking energy.

Only then, can we come back to a state of homeostasis and be more resilient for whatever we need to face.