All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream.” “We loved with a love that was more than love.”

Edgar Allen Poe

Relationships of every kind are what makes our lives rich and meaningful.

In the midst of pandemic uncertainty people all over this glorious globe are waking up to life and loving.
We humans are exploring what we want and need in relationships.

After months and for some years spent alone in isolation singles are reaching out to connect.

How do we discern and decide what kind of relationship we want?

Human emotions and relations are complex forever evolving.

We all need connection at least the majority of us if we are honest.

To write this article I met with a group of  women all from different backgrounds and various occupations and walks of life.

They all had something in common they were all of fire and full of vitality and ready to have a deep and meaningful discussion regarding relationships.

I had to work myself up to this interview.

I’m on the fence about romantic relationships myself. I tell the ladies what I want isn’t romance it is real and stable and predictable without pretentiousness.

I want to skip to the good part as the trendy song emotes. How I am  going to do this I am not so sure so I roll up my sleeves and listen in. This evening I call “The Relationship sessions”.

It is already winter and nearly the end of this year. In front of a blazing fire we gather on a frosty eve over cider and some craft beer.

It has been awhile since any of us have had such an opportunity with Covid, work and life. You know the stuff that happens while you are busy planning, writing and preparing This often involves thinking about thinking about thinking as most of us over thinkers usually do.

This interview uncannily turns into an inquiry regarding my love life?

They want to know about the dating chronicles and fiascos.

I blush “ let’s stay on track “ I gush.
The ladies continue with their questions and the interview is flipped.

My very own questions for them are redirected back like a group intervention.

How do you tell if the relationship is lust, limerence or love I ask?

Isn’t there elements that overlap? I have called this group together to learn and I’m eager for their response.

“Seriously?”, asks the inquisition in union.
“I fall in love with brains”, I stammer “I know nothing about lust only intrigue and desire”. I’m called on this one as brains are the largest sex organ per the therapist in the group.

The youngest of the bunch a young mother and writer leans in and asks “ What is that you desire Renee? what  kind of relationship do you want consciously and unconsciously?

This has me intrigued.

I motion for her to continue .

”There can be elements of all of these stages even in a relationships that matures and evolves” she says.

I believe her after all she is the romance writer. This is what I wanted straight up talk but am I ready for it? I become irritated and figit.

I admit that in this season of my life the lust engines are roaring but this doesn’t mean that I don’t want a committed relationship I gush with all eyes on me.

“Lust it up”says the eldest woman in the group. “If it is limerence that you want then you will get this too. Those obsessive controlling men that suffocat and stifle will be at your beck and call.”At first she says that “they are all adoring like the lost stray and then when in your personal sphere get all territorial”.

I giggle and say I want none of this!

The therapist jumps in “ Are you ready for what you really want?”

“Well, I stammer again I have let go of fear but I’m not sure about ready I answer honestly.”

The wisest whispers “there will always be a risk.”
“ Life is a risk but what is the alternative crawling under a rock ?”

”If you want real, genuine and commitment then you need to show this and ask and then you will receive” I soften. “ You all make this sound like I’m ordering take out” they all laugh.

Relationships are ready to appear says the writer. “ Start writing out your order Renée and make space.” Like Florence Shinn says, “everyone has their person who is divinely chosen”.

The universe always has your back and so does God.

I sigh and soften and thank the girls before parting. I share my gratitude and my respect.

My mood shifted after this talk and I feel lighter.
What if this is already the good part?

What if this messy part that I am in is the good part?

What if this is the opportunity to really dig in and live exploring what I really want and becoming that very thing?

Can we start to fall in love with ourself first?

If we can then maybe the flaws and insecurities will dissolve and all we will see and be is love. So I will lust for life and living fully and I will fall head over heals for the opportunity to just be single and free.

I’m fully committed to be me! I’m feeling this now and we don’t know what tomorrow brings. I return home and settle in to write with my cat and feel “ love” The sessions will continue. Tomorrow is a new day!