Unconditional love…damn, that’s a strong statement.
To have the ability to love someone, with no regards to anything—not their looks, not their age, not their occupation, not even their mistakes.
But does this love really exist? Can anyone really say “I love you unconditionally” and mean it?
You see, I might have been on this planet for only 28 years, but I hope that what I’ve encountered during this brief time can be of benefit.
I once heard that only women, children, and dogs are loved unconditionally. Men are only loved under the “condition” that they can provide something. I thought it was some joke, since the one who said it was Chris Rock. I thought it was a punchline for some big joke. Turns out it’s not.
Let me explain why.
For a long time, men have been seen as the providers and protectors because that’s who we are. We like it; we are actually proud of it. But what happens if we can’t do it anymore? What happens if, for some reason, we lose our job and can’t keep food on the table? What if our family doesn’t feel safe anymore? They start to think about it. And when they start, all hell breaks loose.
So even if we work our asses off, day and night, we just lost our “condition,” which means we lost the love they have for us.
You might say this is way too harsh; there’s no way something like that could happen. You’re right. But how long can they keep pretending that it’s not affecting them? A year, two, maybe three tops. At the end of the day, we couldn’t do the thing that they love us for, which means we can’t be loved unconditionally.
You can argue that it’s a two-way street, but we all know it’s not. Because despite what we tell ourselves, no matter what we do, we don’t love you for something that you do, have, or can give. We love you unconditionally.
Let me take this a bit further since some of you who are reading this are already upset with me.
Can men really change for the women they love? Yes, they can.
But hold on. I know it’s hard to believe, but it is true. We can change. But don’t get your hopes up. Ask any woman in a happy marriage if her husband ever changed for her. She will say yes. Ask another woman in any other relationship if her man can change for her. She might not even have a specific answer for you.
Let me tell you why.
It’s quite simple actually. Men will only change for one woman in their entire life. Just one. The one.
So until we meet the one, the rest get whatever it is we got. That’s just how we are. We can’t change for every woman we meet. If we do, what’s left of the original man you’ve already met? Nothing. It’s bad; I know. But don’t you think it’s better this way?
And I know some of you will say “I can make him change for me.” Maybe you can. But he’s not changing because you made him. He’s changing because, deep down in his subconscious, he knows what you are trying to do, and he goes with it because that’s what unconditional love is. But he will only change willingly, on a daily basis, if you are the one for him.
Whoever called men hopeless romantics wasn’t wrong. We wait for any sign of love so we can jump to it, not knowing what to expect.
The only hope we have in mind is that we receive some of the love we are offering because we know there is no chance we can get all of it back, no matter how much it is. Maybe it makes me naïve for thinking like this. But it also means that maybe, someday, “the one” can make me change my mind about all this.
Until that happens…