I remember my daughter’s christening a full baptism immersion in which the priest dropped her letting go completely and I jumped in to rescue.

I laugh now as it may have been some foreshadowing. My fiery-spirited daughter rejected Christianity early on yet it still came as a shock when she embraced Islam.

I’m working through some heavy grief of late and with the passing of Christmas, I again felt the pain twinge.

I am incredibly proud of my daughter and her dedication and her faith and still I have to admit this was a huge adjustment and a form of grief.

The daughter I knew and raised is no longer and in her place is a new woman. She celebrates different holidays, dresses different and speaks a language which is foreign to me. I have had to get to know this new daughter and I have had to push my own boundaries and belief systems as well.

This is a grief and adjustment that not many discuss. Many families I am told reject their loved ones which breaks my heart.

This heartbreaking is part of the grief.

The world is heartbreaking at times.

As a writer looking back I see the foreshadowing and I know she is where she needs to be in life. This still leaves me trying to catch my breath at times feeling overwhelmed with emotions of feeling left behind.

I’m the last Christian and to be honest my faith with grief has wavered and still God finds his way back into my heart.

My daughter’s conversion did rock my world. I’m a fiery feminist myself and much in this world. I had some serious stereotypes and myths to bust.

Now holidays, rituals, diet and customs have changed. I’m learning and growing. I choose love and I’m open to learning as much as I can about the faith.

We can accept and embrace change and still share how things have affected us. These are the difficult conversations that people fear. When we choose love we let go of fear.

Recently I had a heart to heart with my daughter and we both shared how this has impacted us. I was surprised that she was sensitive and aware how strange this must have been for me. She was a Butterfly emmerging from a cocoon and now I  watch her fly on the wing’s of God’s love. Although our God has a different name the Creator’s love remains the same. I’m ready for the rest of this grief to be turned to dancing. I’m ready for love.