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March 30, 2022

Connecting, Man to Man

There is a sensuality of men, between men, that few of us get to experience.

It is rich in gifts, deep, vast.

Gifts of support, of connection, of intimacy.

Gifts of the body, gifts of the heart.

One of the events I offer is an experience I created called Water Flow Massage.

It happens in an indoor heated pool where the water encompasses us like a womb of safety, sensation and feeling.

It’s a touch experience, with a lot of holding, gentle movement, and stillness.

It’s designed to be deeply relaxing, connected, intimate, soft and opening.

Some of the practices you do on your own, some with a partner, and some in a group.

It’s an experience that’s open to everyone, men, women, couples, of all orientations, and until a little while before we begin I have no idea of the makeup of the group.

Sometimes, like last night, there are more men than women.

And for some men this presents a really interesting situation.

They’re in a mostly nude, bathing costumes are optional, group of people.

There is touch, contact, belly to belly, heart to heart, arms that hold.

And when there are more men than women, like last night, men partner with each other.

For many men this is the first time they’ve been this close to, touched another naked man.

And it is, there’s a term I use, Naked Space.

It’s naked in terms of vulnerability, of sharing, of touch, giving, receiving.

It’s naked in opening ourselves to another.

For many men it has a fear, unspoken, deep, and such a part of the disconnect, the inhibition, the limitation, we men put on ourselves.

The fear is that we’ll enjoy it.

And with this comes a story, a big story. Erroneous beliefs.

If we enjoy it, what does it mean, what’s the label?

Who are we then?

How about we’re men who can share with other men in a way that is so different to sharing with women.

How about we’re men who can share with other men in a way that only men can.

How about that we’re men who can receive, accept, touch from another man, without it meaning anything other than the touch.

And the support, the care, the strength in the touch.

Arms that can hold you.

A chest for you to rest against.

Man to man.

With no story, no label.

It’s not genital, in this context.

It’s not sexual.

It’s human.

It’s connected.

When we, men, keep ourselves separate from each other, disconnected, apart, we keep ourselves from ourselves.

We keep ourselves from our hearts.

We keep ourselves from The Divine within us.

We keep ourselves in a space that’s more about separation than connection.

And that’s one of the reasons our world is the way it is.

Separation rather than connection.

Looking into another man’s eyes I see myself.

Holding another man’s hands I feel my own hands.

Feeling another man’s chest against mine I feel my own.

Seeing another man’s tears I see my own.

Feeling another man’s breath I feel my own.

I share this with many men.

I did last night.

It was so many things.

Beautiful, affirming, comforting, sensual, tender, strong.

Man to man.

We’ll heal ourselves, we’ll heal each other, we’ll heal our world in each other’s eyes, in each other’s touch, in each other’s hearts.

Man of love to man of love.


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