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April 18, 2022

Easter / Ostara and new beginnings.

Photo by David Alberto Carmona Coto on Pexels.

I watched as magic escaped from the foundational beams over my head, pouring into my cup, blessing me with the well wishes that I’d thrown so many pennies into.

The idea of a “family” has always intrigued me. Not to say that I don’t have family, because I very much do. I have a wonderful, supportive Mother who has taught me every moral that I hold near and dear to my heart. She has taught me every inch of gratitude and every inch of divine love. Although our relationship and our road hasn’t been easy,  it is a beautifully inspiring and upcoming relationship. Ever evolving and ever growing. Nonetheless, the love is and always has been there.

Then there is my gram, who is the oxen in our family- teaching, building, and embodying strength. She has been the rock, the glue and the light that shines through, even when all seems dreary and dark. She is the reason for my being, and I owe it all to her for her unconditional love, help, and support that she’s given me on my  journey. It may not seem like much, but here we are, standing trine, breaking our own family curses and leaving the past behind.

With a day beginning beautifully surrounded by the powerful and strong women whose blood runs through my veins, my day then continued just as beautifully with the family that chose me, and I, them.

These people who have become family welcomed me with open minds, open arms, and open hearts. In but two years time, we have created a bond that is unbreakable. Not only is it wild and free, honest and true – it is encouraging and endearing, warm and kind. “Our presence is a present.”

We spent our afternoon enjoying and snacking, opening up our surprise easter baskets which were full of nostalgic items like bubbles and bubblegum, balloons and cute fuzzy pens. The good stuff. We were then headed straight for the Easter egg hunt, where 80 colorful Easter eggs were strewn through the yard for all of us to find. Oh, the fun! For the first time in a long time, I felt like a little kid again. The thought has since crossed my mind that maybe that’s exactly what my inner child needed to feel safe, seen, and supported while having a bit of light fun.

We opened all of our Easter eggs and broke into each one of them, dismantling their tiny structures, starving for the sweet surprises hidden inside. Each one of us giggled and tousled as we opened our little balls of magic.

Simmering as we collected our candy in our respectively unique pales was the enchanting food that had been prepared for this day of all days.

When the time came, we all sat down at the table sat for six, complete with sea foam green napkins that were sprinkled in pastel flowers, reminding us of the day that brings us anew. To no surprise, dinner was absolute perfection. We sat and laughed and giggled,  as we fed our bodies and fed our souls with the connectivity and indulgence to one another.

For so many reasons I am grateful for this, but one reason is being that this may be the first holiday I’ve spent being completely and utterly happy. This is the first holiday where nothing went haywire or chaotic. This is the first holiday where nothing was destroyed.  All the terrible holidays I’ve spent have brought me to this day, to this table, to this light.

I always knew my well wishes would come true.

This reality today was as sweet as pie. As I sit here combusting in ham, scalloped potatoes and the worlds best carrot cake known to man, I am full. I am full in all the ways a soul can be full. I am fed, and I am whole.

Today, I celebrated the rebirth of familial ties; the monumental love that sits in my life and the once bleak and broken bones, where now, wildflowers have grown. Gratitude fills my cup to the brim, and I am but taking sip after sip.

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