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June 21, 2022

Diaspora Death Doulas: How The Work Has Changed

Photo by Alain Frechette on Pexels.

Growing up, I had a very different perspective on dying. I have never feared it nor assumed it was a negative event in ones life. Since I can remember, I’ve been around the dying. My mother oversaw nursing facilities and senior citizen homes’ home attendant services. I would rush to her office after school and spend time with the elderly and critically sick people. I’d enjoy playing board games with them, eating sweets with them, and listening to their “back in the day” memories. Because I was a rare child with psychic talents, I was able to predict when someone’s life was coming to an end. As we sat across from each other in the game lounge, I could see their faces peeling away from their bones. This was Spirit’s way of telling me someone was about to die.

As a kid, you can imagine how frightening that was! I’d tell my mother what I’d seen, and the resident would die within a few days. My mother, who was also spiritually talented, knew how to develop my talents. She always told me to never be afraid and to always invoke my spiritual defenses. The “gift” will never go away, but I needed to learn how to control it in order to function in society. She taught me everything I know about death and the spiritual realm. She is the reason I am a priest and Diaspora Death Doula today!

Death, in my opinion, is the end of life but not the end of the soul. Our souls, I believe, continue to exist in different realms, fulfilling their soul contracts and experiencing new things. The soul is immortal. Our lives on earth are a minor portion of a much larger journey. Death is a holy rite of passage, the last one on our planet.

I look at death as a sacred ceremony between the dying person and their spiritual team. Everyone hopes that they can transition while lying in a soft bed surrounded by loved ones who are holding vigil with all the necessary accouterments. This is the ideal setting for a death doula. However, my work has recently shifted. Before the shift, I was able to accompany them and help them arrange their final days, ensuring that every aspect was just how they desired. The rise in tragic deaths has caused more individuals to turn to death doulas. I use the term “tragic death” to refer to abrupt death, murder, and suicide.

To comprehend sudden death and suicide, you must have a new perspective on what our soul’s path entails. I have channeled folks who have transitioned from untimely death for many years at the request of the family. Every family questions me, “Why did they have to die in this manner?” Why are they leaving so quickly? “Are they alright?” These inquiries are always heartbreaking but the answer from the loved one on the other side is always the same. “It was written this way. This is the contract I made.” I’ve known families that would curse the souls of family members who had committed suicide. They were unaware of the individual soul contracts and were in excruciating anguish and confusion. My duty as a death doula is to provide clarity, comfort, and understanding of death, dying, and the soul’s journey. We are not qualified to pass judgment on anyone’s death. After all, we never know how or when we may pass away. We can only hope that on our last day, we are extremely old and surrounded by our loved ones.

Unfortunately, many people’s wishes do not come true. As a result, death doulas are being called to crime scenes, emergency rooms, and taking phone calls in the middle of the night from people screaming blood curdling cries.

Our jobs change depending on the situation, and right now we’re needed as intermediaries between the dead and their families. We, the healers and witches, have been summoned to help families that are in agony and despair. Our job won’t look like an episode of “The Goop Lab,” complete with all the healing crystals, incense, and singing bowls you could ever want. Our work is emotionally heavy, requires courage, and sometimes it’s messy. It is our obligation to call upon our ancestors to help bring “their child home”. We have a duty to foster healing in the souls that leave and the families that remain.

As a Diaspora Death Doula we offer support during the end of life process, we offer our healing abilities to the transitioning souls and their families, we are present, and we are ready to be the light for the families that have been left behind. In our work, we rely heavily on our ancestral healing abilities. We uplift people into the ancestral realms, regardless of how they die, so they can continue on their soul’s journey in whatever form it takes. The work of a death doula is constantly evolving, but one constant is our love and compassion for the families and transitioning souls.

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