You are about to go home for the holidays and are already feeling miserable.

The typical “walking on eggshells” metaphor doesn’t begin to describe what you experience. Navigating your family during holiday season feels like walking in your bare feet on thin, cracked ice, over the water with starving sharks longingly staring at you, waiting for you to make the wrong move and fall through. Oh boy.

You know you will experience toxic behavior from your mom, who is manipulative and judgmental; from your dad, who aggressively yells and blames everyone else for his problems; from your aunt, who over-generalizes and refuses to take accountability for her actions; and from your siblings, who are two-faced, unapologetic, and selfish. It’s incredibly hard to be around all of that behavior. You don’t want to do it, but staying home is probably worse.

What can you do?

Remember, these five techniques are here to help you handle these toxic and tough situations. It’s going to be okay; it’s temporary, and you can break down afterward. These will help.

5. SET CLEAR BOUNDARIES

It’s okay to say no! Before you even go, ask yourself, “Do I really need to do this?” If you don’t absolutely have to go, say no. Politely decline the invite. You can plan to go somewhere or do something else entirely. There is nothing wrong with avoiding the whole situation if it’s possible. If you have to be around toxic family members, maybe you can make other travel or sleeping arrangements. Fly in or ride alone without your toxic sister in your ear the whole way. Instead of staying at the toxic house, stay at a hotel or a local friend’s house. Set clear boundaries from the beginning.

4. READ THE ROOM

Know when to stand up for yourself and when to walk away. Remember, you’re an adult now and don’t have to slip back into childlike tendencies just because you’re currently within the same family dynamic. It’s always okay to deflect a question or change the subject of discussion. Casually bring up something mundane that no one can argue over. (If that’s possible.) You don’t have to engage in the conversation or debate. It’s okay to say, “I don’t feel comfortable talking about that.” Walk away before you get triggered.

3. DISENGAGE

Disengage and practice non-attachment. You can’t save toxic family members; it’s not on you to change them. You are responsible only for yourself and certainly not someone else’s toxic behavior. It’s their issue, personality, behavior, choice; it’s not yours. Don’t take it on yourself. Let go of trying to change the situation or behaviors. It is what it is, and you don’t have to fully participate. You are physically present, but you don’t have to be overly involved.

2. PRACTICE SELF-CARE

Practice self-care afterward. You can write in a journal to get it all out. Write about everything that happened, who said what, how it made you feel, and how you currently feel. Talk to a friend to work through your emotions. Be alone. Take a bath. Go for a walk. Do whatever you need to do to recharge. (Safely, please.)

1. GROUND AND PROTECT

The number one technique for handling toxic family during the holidays is to ground and protect your energy. You can help block their negativity from entering your energy field. I know this may seem weird or too “woo woo” at first, but it works. A super quick way to ground and protect your energy is to visualize. When you’re in a safe space, close your eyes and visualize roots growing out of the bottom of your feet, down through the earth all the way to the core. Wrap the roots around the hot iron center and pull energy up through the roots into your feet, through your body, and all the way up to your head. Now imagine that energy expanding around your entire body. Imagine you are surrounded by a thick, impenetrable energetic shield. It’s above you, below you, and all around you. You are safe here; nothing can get inside. You can use this visualization before you go and afterward, too. Plus, if you need a recharge while you’re there, close your eyes and do it quickly.

Being around toxic family is difficult, to say the least; only do it if it’s absolutely necessary. Remember these five techniques: set clear boundaries, read the room, disengage, practice self-care, and ground and protect. Hopefully, your holiday season goes a little smoother. Lots of love and hugs to you. You’ve got this. Good luck!

Alicia McBride is a leading voice for empaths today. She is an internationally best-selling author and holds a B.A. in Psychology. Learn more about grounding, protecting, and blocking toxic energy through her popular online class: Block Toxic Energy NOW!