{*Did you know you can write on Elephant? Here’s how—big changes: How to Write & Make Money or at least Be of Benefit on Elephant. ~ Waylon}
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Pop!

The audible noise was followed by what felt like a concrete block hitting me in the butt.

I propelled backwards in the middle of my driveway. The gigantic box I was trying to lift (which turned out to be a dining room table) collapsed on the pavement.

The orthopedist explained that I had a partial tear. It wasn’t operable, so he suggested rest and light activity. He gave me a six-to-eight-month recovery timeline.

Basically, an eternity in my mind.

A year and a half later, all I successfully accomplished was worsening hamstring pain while developing new aches and pains. There was also a notable weakness on my injured side, inevitably leading me to compensate with my “good side.” As I crawled down the wooden stairs at my house one afternoon, I deemed it time to reach out to a group of physical therapists.

One afternoon driving home from physical therapy, a friend called asking for advice. She was facing a situation at work which held the potential for an amazing opportunity. The problem was she’d had a similar opportunity at her old job but didn’t have the support from her boss.

Fortunately, her circumstances were different this time. She is in a supportive environment with a strong, caring leader. Despite logically understanding her new boss is nothing like her old boss, she worried she would make a mistake or embarrass herself in front of her current boss, who she respected.

After hanging up the phone, it occurred to me that emotional and physical pain are oddly similar. Just like physical pain, past hurts can bubble back up at inopportune times if we try to bury them. This may stunt our emotional and spiritual growth in the same way a physical injury can prevent us from preforming at full capacity.

Similar to coping with a physical injury, when working through a past hurt we may have developed some coping mechanisms. Maybe we get defensive or anxious instead of allowing ourselves to be vulnerable in a conversation. Perhaps we fall into the trap of being triggered by someone who reminds us of a person who hurt us in the past and miss the opportunity for connection.

Regardless of what makes us recognize we’re holding onto pain from the past, there are a few steps we can take to heal, grow, and move past it:

1. Feel Your Feelings: I’m going to be real here—this might totally suck. If we’ve been repressing how we feel for a while, the floodgates may open. It’s completely normal. It might be messy, but that’s okay.

2. Practice Mindfulness: Becoming aware that we’ve held onto feelings which need to be addressed is empowering. Simply being present and aware can help us in our approach and response to people and situations, instead of switching to autopilot or using coping techniques which no longer serve us.

3. Take Accountability: We can’t fall into the trap of waiting for someone to come and rescue us. This is our work to do and no one else can do it for us.

It’s important to understand that our healing journey, whether physical or emotional, isn’t a straight line. Progress never is. There might be setbacks. Times when we slip back into an old pattern. Moments when a wound is partially reopened as we work to address it.

But remember, bones can heal—and so can our hearts.

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